LIFE SUCKS

Where Did it go wrong

Since I was little I feel like there has always been something wrong with me. at 8months old I was diagnosed with severe asthma, I spent about 6 years of my childhood in and out of hospitals, I still remember the worst asthma attacks and how I almost died quite a few times. I was the kid everyone picked on in school because I was so fragile and wouldn't fight back.
Finally after years of medication and treatment I fought it but it was then where life really started getting hard. After my dad left when I was 5 and my sister was 12, my mom struggled to make ends meet. We lived in a very bad neighborhood. Through out my adolescent years all the way to the end of high school I was the one that everyone picked on. I was always the skinniest weakest kid in class. When I say skinny I mean paper thin, even girls weighed more than me. I've had one girlfriend and I think the only reason she was with me was because I was super nice and a pushover to compensate for my lack of good looks, let's face it, what girl would want to be with a guy who looks more like a skeleton than a person? after that relationship failed I became extremely depressed and suicidal and went on medication.
after high school I went to university but that didn't last long, not only was I already hating myself for being so weak and picked on my whole life but I was also not very smart at all. Since I dropped out of university I have been jumping from one job to the next either because I was too weak to perform the duties or not smart enough to understand what I was doing. Today at the age of 31 I stand at 6'1" 120lbs, no job, no girlfriend, no money, still living with parents and heading down that road of severe depression. The only thing that's keeping me alive today is my family w/o them my life would've ended years ago