i have never had a girl say i was good looking in all my fucking life. i wish a woman would hit on me so bad. im not ugly but im not good looking either. im just a loser with no talent. i have nothing going for me in this life. im a super friendly guy that doesnt put any one down but im just not a good looking guy. people say im creative and smart but thats just what they think. i have been told i would be a good horror movie director which is what i would like to do but im just not destined for great things. we are all in this life by accident and there is no meaning. some people are better than others and others like me are worthless nobodys who cant get laid. i do know that others have it worse than me and i should be thankful for what i have. like a nice family, my health even though im really out of shape but im still really healthy. i should be thinkful that i get pretty much any thing i ask for from my parents. i do feel sorry for the people who are poor and disabled. i wish i could help them but im worthless and im nothing but a mistake. i have been bullied by the fucking jocks in school who are good looking on the outside and get any woman they want. i had a few dreams before that i found out what they looked like on the inside and they were horrific looking i woke up feeling like i had to puke. i could put them in my horror movies. my final thing i have to write for this story is that i hope with eveything i have in me that things get better. | |
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Things will get better. The bullies at school will probably go bald and fat and boring before they hit 30, so their outside will very soon match the hideous inside. You on the other hand have a lot of good things going for you. Believe me and keep reading.
First you are a nice and friendly guy and, unfortunately, that quality is becoming rare. Second you are healthy (and wise enough to be thankful for that). Third you have a loving family. Fourth, if people say you are creative and smart, they are probably right.
So I officially think you are a sexy guy. I know, it doesn't count for much since I'm 31 and far away. However I'm sure there are more girls your age who think like me over there. I guess finding a guy to be sexy has not much to do with the way he looks. To me it's much more about the smartness and the sense of humor.
Being confident also helps, so let's work on that part. You are not a worthless nobody, you are not a freak, you are not a loser. You are a smart cool guy who wants to be a good horror movie director. Destiny is what you make of it, so make it happen.
As for me, I think that coming home after school to an empty mansion sounds worse than coming home to my small empty flat. The thing I want the most no money can buy, and that is being in peace with myself. After all the conferences, the trips, the going out with friends, the workouts, etc, I find myself alone in a country where I have no family. And in those moments it is very easy to forget how lucky I really am.
I very much like the idea of the hot female clown. She can be an interesting character, being paid to laugh while being a depressed killer. Schadenfreude is her guilty pleasure. She comes off work, takes off the clown shoes, and puts on the Louboutin stilletos to kill. She listens to "O Fortuna" on her ipod when she kills. She is sophisticated and has an IQ way above average, as most serial killers do. Okay, I might have gotten a little carried way so just name her Sara in my honor..?
I also like movies about mass quarantine of small towns. Anything apocalyptic entertains me. Your description reminded me of "The Crazies". It also reminded me of History classes back in high-school. I actually went to a private high-end catholic school, which is always a fun scenario to the end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it. As for the sadistic cannibal redneck family, it certainly has an audience but I guess it is not really my thing, so JustNotMe.
and you think good look is all that matters?
No girl will ask you out? Starting asking THEM out. Most girls dont make a first move, even when they like a guy, they expect the man to do it. If you get rejected, keep trying other women until one doesnt.
I had a friend who was a skinny nerd, he wasnt terrible looking, but had no confidence and was frightened to ask any girl out. The first girl that FINALLY asked HIM out was ugly and fat, he was lonely and desperate so he went out with her. Now they are married and she treats him like crap and walks all over him. He was always scared to stand up for himself, even to her. He missed his opportunites to find a better girl because he lacked confidence and was a scared wuss when it came to women. Now he is stuck with a bad marriage because he settled for a fat ugly broad who runs his life for him. Dont end up like him please!
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