im 20 with a child i want to kill. had no job for two years before working as a cleaner. no life. no friends. no family. I live in a shithole now.
When I was five, my mum died of pancreatic cancer. I missed her dearly but things were still ok because my dad was still there to provide for me. 4 years later, he died at work due to an heart attack. I became an orphan at 9 years old. My uncle took me in. I thought everything would be fine but he took me out of school. took me away from the only friends I had. He isolated me from the world. He psychially abused me, and raped me almost every night. I had no one to turn to. I got pregnant at 13, had a miscarriage because he hit me and I fell down the stairs. I got pregnant again at 14. the baby luckily died as soon as it was born. I got pregnant again at 18. My uncle found an alchoholic, druggy girlfriend and she moved in with us. I thought this was the end of abuse. but it only escalated. they both started absuing me and she'd encourage the rapes that happened even while i was almost 6 months pregnant. When the child was born, he kicked me out of his shitty house and told me "You're too old to have fun with, you useless whore"
I fucking hate my life. I have no education and as a result, working as a fucking cleaner. living off welfare and no friends. I hate my child. i want to fucking kill him. everytime i look at him, i get reminded of what happened. he is a mutant.