LIFE SUCKS

My name is Alex too and I have lived with depression for a long time too. The two things that have really helped me is working out (lifting weights), and trying to build confidence. As well as books. Try picking up self esteem and confidence books and it will help you.

My name is also Alex. Funny how I feel exactly the same as you, today, as I was reading your story it described my exact fellings about myself and my life.

Your not alone in the way you feel and think about yourself and your life. Thanks for sharing as you made me realize i am not alone, which means neither are you.

I hope this can help you feel slightly better a you have done for me.

I hear ya, pal. Same boat as me it seems. Allow me to take the helm. And since misery loves company, allow me to express that this vapid life is never going to be, nor will it ever have, the utopist answer you seek. It is purposely miserable here on earth. This is written (it’s imperative that you know this, you’ll see...).

I can tell by your inquiry on this forum that you know there are truths to this world; spiritual realities that are undeniable to you, though, perhaps, not really understood well by an intelligently conscious person as you. Inasmuch as there are truths, there are deceptive and insidious lies too. You are mired in a lie. The lie is that you have not hope, which is reinforced by emotions of despair and supported by a lethargic indifference to change for the better.

To battle daily with this wretched world is too much; and you don't have enough light to change it, either. None of us do. You're stuck, consciously stuck. And no person, prayer, or power is going to suddenly change who you are, nor how you perceive life, nor magically alter your situation. You need to know and accept this latter fact. It doesn’t matter to what truth-doctrine you adhere but this realization is necessary for you to place yourself outside the trapped feelings you carry. The first and foremost beginning to a content life is not being mentally trapped. There is always a way out! The more you internalize this truth, the better you will be. Nothing is final, ever.

There is a power solely within you in the form of "conscious choice." Those people you see happy and content make the conscious choices to be happy. Why are you and I different from those people? Why is our inclination to a dour, melancholic side? Again, there is no acceptable or satisfying answer for people like us, which is another reason we feel helpless when we are depressed. We simply must accept things; and this, this is what is so damn depressing often because life is so unacceptable! See, the content people accept shit. Who knows why but they just do. Content people just move forward. The same shit happens to them as to you but the content people will make lemonade out of their problems. Somehow, they got the recipe, yet, you and me, we have to learn from scratch to make hairy shit-cakes, and then eat ‘em. Until, we can accept this, people such as ourselves will never be happy.

Here’s the thing, though: accepting shit doesn’t mean we have to eat it or be part of it. It just means we move forward with a learned experience. I know this sounds paltry, but it surely is not. Do you know your purpose in life? I do; mine and yours, and all of humanity’s for that matter. You do too. It is written, exemplified, and proven.

This is what you must do: you must live, not for yourself but for your neighbor. As well, you must die, not for yourself but unto yourself. Sound familiar?

See, depression is self-serving. It’s about “me”. If you are depressed, then you are ignoring others. Similarly, the death unto yourself means that you don’t worry about what happens to you, which is why you live for your neighbor. That’s it. This is why we praise our military so much in our culture, because self-sacrifice is the ultimate form of giving. Blood is precious and not to be wasted. Isn’t it remarkable how we who are depressed often feel like we just need to simply die? We just want to waste our blood in self-righteous martyrdom, as if somehow our death would fulfill our emptiness and help the people we would leave behind. What irrational bullshit, really! The reality is that depressed people, like us, in their minds, justify their actions with their pain.

So, to conclude, don’t waste your blood for yourself (and I’m not only speaking of suicide but of being lethargic and doing nothing). You could easily sell everything you own and go feed a leper colony. That’ll kill you and martyr you better than what you may be planning. Even doing something crazy like shaving your head will make you a better person. After a bout with depression, I shaved my head for therapy. It worked. It made me better understand why those goth kids and new-wave punks mutilate themselves. I realized that this group of people is just coping in various ways, as was I with a shaved head.

Cope and survive. Stay alive and die for others. This is your purpose as it is written. If you can do this, you will find fulfillment.

Forget your problems. Buy a bong, stuff it with high grade marijuana and hash. Bottom line, problems over.

I feel your pain. I put on a show too, practically my entire life. My friends and family barely know how bad I am suffering and when I try to get help it fails. Sigh

This is true advice from a highly paid psychologist. I'm not trying to impress you, but to impress upon you that this advice is legit. I'm trying to get you to pay attention. I've posted this to many of you, so please don't let the generality lessen the value of these proven techniques.

I'll cut to the chase. The secret to happiness: What you focus on is your reality.

Try this -- Focus on being grateful -- and I don't mean this like a lecturing parent. I say this as a PROVEN THERAPY STRATEGY for souls in pain.

When you feel gratitude, you can't feel anything bad -- it's one of the most pure, happy emotions humans have.

Try this. This sounds really silly, but it WORKS!

Go on you tube and look up Refugee Camps. Watch those videos. In a blink, your troubles are put into perspective.

Then take a moment and just be grateful for everything you have that those pour souls do not. If you focus only on gratitude, watch what happens!

Being grateful is a choice.

No matter what is happening, you can find something to be grateful about. That is the TRUE POWER you have. That is the SECRET TO HAPPINESS.

Try this. Get yourself super grateful, let that feeling take you over -- then go be with people. See what happens. Try this with strangers. See what happens.

Remember, people are like mirrors, they REFLECT what you are projecting. So if you hate yourself, they will pick up that vibe and bounce it back at you. If you project gratitude, that pure beautiful universal emotion will bounce back at you!

Always remember for anything in life -- spend 20% of your energy on the problem, and 80% of your energy on the solution. Stick to this and watch what happens to your life.

Always ask yourself -- "What is my next action?" Your brain will search for a solution.

Your brain's job is to answer your questions. So if you ask your brain a rhetorical question like "Why me?!" The only answer will be "You are worthless, you are cursed!" -- because that was the answer you were looking for -- yes?

WHAT YOU FOCUS ON IS YOUR REALITY. Your brain has no idea what is real or imagined. So if you get hurt once but think about it 1,000 times, your brain suffers it 1,000 times.

I'll prove it to you. Think of the juiciest LEMON you've ever seen. You slice the lemon. It oozes juice. You take the lemon slice and you BITE into it.

What happened? Did you salivate? Because you IMAGINED a lemon in your brain, your BODY REACTED as if it were real. So there is your proof that what you imagine is real.

So thinking about this? If you imagine something horrible happening to you, wouldn't your body think it's real? If you relived a painful situation, wouldn't your body think it's happening again?

Now... if you relive a WONDERFUL MEMORY, wouldn't your mind think you're having another beautiful moment?

So now that you know this, and you still find yourself dwelling on the bad emotions -- it's evidence that you are conditioned to suffering -- because now you have a choice.

This means you have to do some soul searching.

It's time to investigate, face your issues, whatever they maybe. Focusing on wanting friendships, relationships, problems, etc.. is your unconscious need for a distraction from dealing with your repressed pain. People you are with feel the vibe, it's like a radio signal that you can't hide.

It's likely deep seeded self-esteem issues (we all have them).

Be honest with yourself. Read books, or articles online, if seeking therapy is too scary. Self help books on self-esteem.

Focus on the solution, don't dwell on the problem. Burning your energy on the problem will only lead to addiction to depression.

Deal with yourself first, and your true energy will attract the life, the people, the relationship, the things, the love you deserve.

Again, the SECRET TO LIFE: WHAT YOU FOCUS ON IS YOUR REALITY!!

i feel the same way...i feel your pain