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Surrendering

Posted by PoohBear at May 8, 2012
Tags: Loneliness  2012 May

I can barely stand the fact that I'm single...i think its loneliness that get to me the most. I have noone who understands me. Noone can see all the things these cuts hide, or understand the reason for this bottle in my hand. I hate myself. The depression is hard to fight over and over again, so I will raise my white flag and surrender to the dark. I used to be scared of death but now it seems to be the only way to get these thoughts out of my head. What am i supposed to do? Your the only one that can save me and you know this. You konw if you gave me the time of day I would be fixed forever. Being your best friend is driving me crazy. Everytime you ask for my blessing with a new girl I wanna say no because I want you, but your happiness is more important to me thatn mine, so i say yes she seems right for you. Will I ever be happy or oneday or will i finally just pull the trigger. I've decided to pull the trigger after I know for sure that you have read my story......i love you andrew....always have always will.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
I hopelessly surrender... March 10, 2012
Life Sucks, Then You Die January 15, 2008



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Comments:
By anonymous at 08,May,12 13:30

Feel the exact same way you took the words right out of myopathy down to the alcohol nobody knows and I don't think I'll ever find somebody who will understand


By justme at 08,May,12 14:50

PoohBear,

I'm sorry that you are depressed. However I do hope that Andrew does not read your story, because it will probably make him run away from you as fast as he can. Do you think any man will appreciate this kind of drama? They will NOT. Let me tell you, even the nicest guy will become tired.

And, most importantly, it is NOT true that only Andrew can save you or "fix" things. This is the hard lesson to be learned, only YOU can change it. Only your will can change the way you are thinking now. If you don't want things to improve, no one can do it for you. No matter how much you love them, or how much they love you back.

I know you don't like what I wrote above, but I guess it is time to grow up..? My sincere advice to you is to be honest with him. Tell him how you feel. If he doesn't feel the same way for you, then it might be best for you to be apart at least for a while. Do not make your life dependent on someone else. If Andrew does not love you, someday some other guy will. But first you have to learn how to love yourself. Stop obsessing about being single, go to therapy, make new friends, workout (it helps...), whatever it takes. You deserve better from yourself.
By listener at 08,May,12 15:25

awesome idvice
By justme at 08,May,12 15:27

thanks, I try :)
By Justme rocks at 08,May,12 22:43 Fold Up

Very comprehensive and wise advice. Keep it up.
By anonymous at 09,May,12 00:59

great advice
By anonymous at 11,May,12 04:50 Fold Up

That has to be the dumbest advice I have ever heard.


By anonymous at 08,May,12 16:54

Ya know some people think that yelling at a person will make then change but that's not true. I'm in a similar situation and I feel like I should end my life sometimes too but I would never want someone else to. Life really is precious... I thinkyou should tell him hoe you feel. If you don't tell him how will he ever know you love him? But if he didn't live you back that's okay..... cause someday it'll hurt less. Someday, one day you will be happy. You'll find your reality. Just wait... Please. Make new friends. Meet new people. Find your reason to live.
And besides. How do you think he'll feel if you killed yourself and he knitted it was his


By anonymous at 08,May,12 16:57

Ya know some people think that yelling at a person will make then change but that's not true. I'm in a similar situation and I feel like I should end my life sometimes too but I would never want someone else to. Life really is precious... I thinkyou should tell him hoe you feel. If you don't tell him how will he ever know you love him? But if he didn't live you back that's okay..... cause someday it'll hurt less. Someday, one day you will be happy. You'll find your reality. Just wait... Please. Make new friends. Meet new people. Find your reason to live.
And besides. How do you think he'll feel if you killed yourself and he d it was his fault? It would kill him. Because he trusts you. He seeks your advice. Would he be happy when you're gone? No. He's nut the only person alive. There are other people who love you too.
Love.


By anonymous at 08,May,12 19:19

i know things seem tough right now but i want you to pray that god will save u and change your life he loves u and understands u because his only son died on the cross for u for he does not forsake u! :)
By anonymous at 10,May,12 16:12

god damned jesus loving faggot


By anonymous at 08,May,12 19:29

I almost have the same problem we should date im prety hot im only 20
only


By Cursed at 08,May,12 20:11

Dear Pooh Bear-
Andrew ain't worth it. You know you can do better- Who needs to live being an emotional punching bag? This Andrew guy is using you. He won't care if you "Off Yourself". So as you're floating above your dead body- he will be targeting some other poor sucker... Don't give him the satisfaction, pull yourself together. Go see someone. Check yourself into the hospital if you must. But don't kill yourself over someone else- they won't care. And you'll be dead.
Cursed
By anonymous at 08,May,12 20:33

True


By anonymous at 08,May,12 20:17

Become a lesbian, have fun.


By anonymous at 08,May,12 23:24

You are hurting. That much is clear. But wait a while before deciding to pull the trigger. The pain from losing your boyfriend is hard to bear. Each time I broke up with a girlfriend it was painful for me, too. Just wait before deciding to pull. Your mind will be clearer and you'll see things with more insight.

Andrew sounds like a special guy. You may not be with him, but he would be devastated when he finds out you committed suicide. Ditto for your family.

Just wait. Don't pull the trigger. And talk to someone now about what you're dealing with. Someone will understand.

1-800-273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline


By anonymous at 09,May,12 00:18

life does suck......I wish it was over...


By anonymous at 09,May,12 00:56

I have never seen a girl in your situation. I'm sure that Andrew guy knows how you feel towards him but yet he ignores it. How can a guy not notice a girl is in love with him? You should be glad he didn't take advantage of the situation and use you for sex. Most guys would ...me included.

I tell you men are shallow. We go for looks and physical attraction. The girlfriend that treated me the best in my younger days was the one I least cared about. I ended up marrying another girl who has a very temper but I thought she was hot.

My point is forget this Andrew guy. Love is a 2 ways street. if it clicks it clicks. You can't force it. Open yourself for new opportunity. You never know. You may find someone even better and most importantly genuinely in love with you.
By anonymous at 09,May,12 01:16

Let me tell you a story. The girlfriend that treated me the best once tried to jump off the balcony when I was asleep. She knew I don't really love her.
l somehow woken up and noticed what was going on. Do you know what went through my head? I have to get rid of her asap!

If she died because of me would I feel guilty? Probably yes. But I'm sure I would get over it in no time. Is it worth it for her to kill herself over me? Absolutely NOT!

Now lets fast forward 10 years.
Right at this moment I am feeling a bit depressed because my girlfriend is fucking, please pardon my language, seeing another guy. We are supposed to be friends with benefit but I'm madly in love with her. She treated me like shit but yet I miss her. You see? Love is not a fair game. Just make sure you are on the side with the upper hand.


By zé-carioca at 09,May,12 04:16

Hey PoohBear,

I used to watch that cartoon.. I remember to like it. I keep asking me how old are you, how you grew up, your dreams, ... hey wait! I do care about you! So you already have someone who care about you!
Girl, sometimes life's pretty tricky. It seems that everything is lost, and then, all of a sudden, the sunny and colorful times are back. Maybe even a honey pot!
Sometimes, I can get really down. And sometimes the others' lawn seems much greener than mine. But even if I have no damn idea how to get out of the situation, I know that time will do its job. After a storm comes a calm!
If you ever need to talk someone, write me! zehcarioca86brazil@gmail.com
By Cursed at 09,May,12 08:06

Adorable post. Love the honey pot analogy. Good job- hopefully it brightens Pooh Bear's day...


By anonymous at 09,May,12 19:00

Try marijuana therapy, a joint a day, for a week.
By Cursed at 10,May,12 20:03

A joint a day will keep the Doc away.


By anonymous at 10,May,12 04:49

The father of my child has just walked out on us. Left me with all the responsibility of raising a 2 year old working full time and being finacially strained. Sometimes I think its better not to be here, but someone said to me, sometimes things fall apart for others to fall in place.
By Cursed at 10,May,12 20:01

Nice. Men suck. But I love the saying!!! That is awesome, that someone is a keeper...


By at 10,May,12 14:00

I hate bears called pooh... one of the most fucking retarded cartoon characters is that winnie the pooh.
Why doesn't he wear any pants and why the fuck the red shirt and whyis he soooooo stupid!?!?!?!?
And he kinda reminds me of pedo bear with him running around that Christoppher kid with no pants...
I'm sorry I had to get that off my chest :D
By Cursed at 10,May,12 20:03

Awwwww. I love Pooh Bear. So cudely, and warm, and fuzzy...
By anonymous at 11,May,12 02:48 Fold Up

I have to agree with you this time.


By korforalla at 08,Dec,12 14:31

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By top seo guys at 25,Oct,13 20:43

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