I work as a Paramedic on 24 hour shifts out of a station, like a fire department does. We used to have regular partners until we dropped one of our positions, and now we sort of rotate who we work with. My regular partner, we'll call him Jake, is basically who I think of as my 'best friend'.
Well, we have a lady who works here who's dumb as a rock and has some very irritating character traits. I've been partnered with her for several shifts now. Jake is with someone else and they keep doing the things we used to do together during our free time, like going to have coffee, going to dinner with Jake's wife, etc...and I don't get to go.
I asked him what he was doing for dinner tonight and tried to suggest we all put in for a shift dinner. He said that he and Megan were going to dinner with his wife, and that "I wasnt invited". He didn't seem very serious, but it wasn't quite all joking either.
I don't socialize very much outside of work. I go to college, but I don't know anybody there, and I can't really seem to make any friends...I've never really fit in anywhere. So to come to work here and have people who like me being around, who I have a good time with...it was like finally having real friends. But then this happens, and all the problems that I thought were gone come right back to haunt me.
I try to tell myself that he was just teasing me because I'm partnered with the annoying lady. But then, I can't help feeling that a real friend would invite me along regardless.
Maybe I've been wrong. I don't really have a friend. I'm just Brian, and I'm alone, and who would want me around anyways. I've been replaced and that's that. He said we were going to go rock climbing this year, and take our ladies out to dinner, and stuff. But maybe not now...he hasn't mentioned it in a while.
I see people at college walking after class along the beach, playing frisbee on the field. Eating lunch together. Having fun at school events. I wish I knew how it all worked.
I wish I knew what I did wrong to lose my friend.