I hate my fucking life, been married for 5 years, 2nd time with the same woman, we were married in 1999 divorced 2001 then remarried 2007.. I have anger issues which she does seem to understand that her kids SUCK.. They don't give a fuck about me, her or the house.. They treat my and the wife like fucking slaves. So last week I lost it just lost it and then we seem to put eventhing back together I apologized again for my outburst but it doesn't matter. I told her how i felt like an outsider - nothing.. Now the 2 little fucks are graduating college and we're having a party for them and I don't want to be here.. This weekend I am meeting with some friends to watch hockey, drink beer and eat burgers just before the party on Saturday night.. I plan on riding my HOG to meet the boys, can't promise I will come back at all. If the opportunity presents itself I am going to look for a way out of this measible rotton life. Yeh I know ge thelp, so fucking what. Even if I get help I am on double secret probation and cant even get the least bit ticked off or it's fucking divorce.. I am so fucking tired of all this stress and not feeling like I matter to this woman.. No matter what I do how well I overcome this obstacle I still end up a looser.. WORD to all of you DON'T FUCKING GET MARRIED.. It's not worth.. I am sure this bitch of mine has already talked to a lawyer. So if I self terminate like I plan she get's nothing - slit the wrist, take some pills, blow my head off - she gets 0.. Perhaps that's the way out.