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I want to die...

Posted by anonymous at May 10, 2012
Tags: Family  Juvenile problems  2012 May

I am a 16 year old teenager. I live in a family of 7, including me. I have a younger brother, a younger sister, a twin brother, and an older brother. (Plus, my parents.) I hate my life. Let me explain. I'll start with my younger siblings.

My little brother, 6 years old, is a sailor. He always runs his god-damn mouth, and every sentence he says has to have a swear in it. He never listens to me when I tell him to stop doing something or, not to do something. He always has to question everything he's told to do. It's fucking irritating. He also wastes every single food in my house, and leaves trash all over the place. And when his report card comes home, his teacher says he is a very kind a well-mannered child. Oh, the irony.

Then there's my little sister, 9 years old. She isn't that bad. But, it's as if she has to whine about everything. "Oh, Mommy! I REALLY WANT THAT!" and then there's, "BUT DADDY! I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO THIS HOMEWORK!" And then if you try to reason with her, she either, yells at you and tells you to shut-up, or, keeps whining even more.

Next, there's my twin brother, he's slightly younger than me (I was born first). You'd think that since we're twins, we'd be cool and all, BUT NOPE! He thinks he's better than me. Actually he thinks he's better than everyone else. He believes I have this addiction to "furry" pornography, BUT I DON'T. He also, seems to have to mention this to everyone, including my friends. And then they have to start fucking making fun of me. In addition, he has to act like that if I touch something that's his, I have now "infected" it, and it must be thrown away/thrown in the wash. I should also mention that he whines about things as well. Plus, he has the most annoying sleep pattern ever. He sleeps with the freakin' blanket over his face, with a fan blowing at him, year-round. And then he complains about the room either being too hot, or too cold. I should mention that we sleep in bunk beds, and I sleep on top. And do I get a fan? NOPE! You think it's too hot in here? How about you sleep like a normal human being. And in the mornings, whenever I get up first, and he's JUST about to get up too, he quickly hides himself and goes back to bed. Really? Like, what the fuck? I'm not going to eat you. When I try to ask him why he does this kind of stuff, he gives me some bullshit answer, like, "*N Word*," "Your Mom," "*Silence*," "Fuck you." And then he yelled at me once because I told our older brother that he walks around in the garage, instead of outside in public. And I *DO* understand why, but if you didn't want me to tell them that, THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO FOR AN ACTUAL FUCKING WALK, OUTSIDE!? Dumbass.

Next, there's me. Yeah I know, I hate myself too. I'm not an interesting guy, I'm EXTREMELY quiet. I'm a giant nerd. I'm not athletic. I'm socially awkward. I have no talent at anything (Unless you count being good at video games a talent, then that further proves I'm a nerd). I am easily irritated by many things, like people who have to chew SO FUCKING LOUD when they're eating, people who BREATHE REALLY LOUDLY when eating, people who don't pick up after themselves, people who whine a lot, and people who yell at everything. There's more but it'd be a long list. Anyway, I also go to a god-damn CATHOLIC HIGH-SCHOOL! I was forced into it by my mom, and uncle. So, I lost all my friends, I now have to follow and take a class on a religion that I was, and still am, not faithful to (I'm an atheist), and I have to wear a uniform to school (taking away my freedom). I can't just transfer back, either, because it would fuck up my academic record, and just screw up my education.

Going back to my family, there's my older brother. He is 21 years old, and he STILL LIVES IN MY PARENTS HOUSE! He always has a hard time getting a job. He always "borrows" money, and then usually never pays me back. He begs for it like a fucking dog as well. It's pretty sad. He also has to, HAS TO, have an argument, with (mainly) my little brother, and my parents, about the STUPIDEST SHIT ever. I can understand getting mad at my little brother for leaving trash everywhere, but you don't need to SCREAM at him about it.

Finally, there's my parents... They're getting a divorce, by the way...
My dad is probably the only tolerable family member. He is a U.S. Navy Veteran, and has a very well paying job.
So, I'll tell you about my mom. You can basically take what I said about my sister, and put it here. Except, my mom flips out on everyone/thing that talks to her. She always says she's "busy" and "has to go study." I bet she goes out and parties with her friends, instead of actually doing something important, or something that actually matters.

In conclusion, when you add all of this shit up, and have to put up with it EVERYDAY, for 5 years (And counting), it obviously doesn't end well. I have been thinking of suicide for the past 2 years, because of living like this. I haven't tried anything... yet... Now, you're probably going to say, "BUT! THERE'S PEOPLE IN OTHER PARTS OF THE WORLD WHO HAVE DISEASES, AND, HAVE NO PARENTS, AND DON'T PLAY VIDEO GAMES, ETC." Well, I'm not one of those people. I don't have a disease, or some disability, or live homeless, with little possessions. But you think I care? So what? That doesn't change my life-style or anything...

Everyday, I think about killing myself, because I hate this world...

All the world needs is me...

But, I don't want my world...


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Comments:
By anonymous at 11,May,12 07:49

I couldn't put up with that sgit for too long


By anonymous at 11,May,12 16:54

Dude your not the only one who has a bad family life my little brother is basically the same way you described yours. My littlest sister is always arguing with my mother and whining and worst of all she's a trendy which I dispise. My other little sister is about a year younger then me and just a bi-polar bitch I think her friends talk about how skinny I am( I refuse to lift weights like those jock assholes). My father consistatnly calls mestrings like stupid, girl, and hippy all because I were my hair long and play guitar. i hate myself too I've never had a girl friend and am unaturally skinny. My friends all can't think as deep as I can and are mindless trendies I feel so alone all I have is my art teacher for comfort. You are not alone man you look like your going to college like me it should get better.
By Cursed at 11,May,12 20:14

Love it. Good post


By anonymous at 12,May,12 02:03

Go ahead, fucking kill yourself. There are people out there that actually want to eat the food that you take for granted, there are people with diseases that want the health that you have, go the fuck ahead and throw it away you piece of shit, waste of oxygen cunt, pull the trigger. Just cause you have a couple of annoying siblings and not the biggest jock in high school you think you live a 'shitty life' and you 'hate this world'. Well yeah fuck you to faggot, go fucking kill yourself no one will give a fuck
By anonymous at 12,May,12 02:44

Wo man take your anger somewhere else. Sure there are people who don't have the material possessions we have but at least they have real friends and love. Don't tell me to go kill myself you prick when your the one who treats others like shit. Your probably one of those trendy false christians who don't really know about the bible but like to tell people off like their the mightiest shits on earth.
By anonymous at 12,May,12 16:05

no, I'm atheist. And material possesions? Are you fucking stupid? Food and water aren't 'material possesions' they're fucking neccesities you cunt. Those little kids getting shot by islamic extremists and those little girls being maried off in the middle east must be really fucking loved right? Stfu just kill yourself. you have the time to tell everybody about your troubles on the internet but not make your life better? Well pull the fucking trigger, slit your fucking wrists, hell you should burn yourself alive so no one will have to fuckin buy you a coffin.

You want a good fucking life? Move the fuck out, get a job, work out, be fucking confident and you'll have people fucking love you, especially girls. Go to a fucking club, have fun or something, no one's going to make your life better except fucking you. Life's fucking tough deal. with it you pussy, whiny cunt. If you can't shoot yourself, I hate little pussy attention whore faggots like you that hate their life even though they have food water shelter and parents that provide them with internet and fucking videos games. Get over yourself pussy, and if not, again, just fucking shoot yourself. No one will care. Your families gonna cry for a week, ur school will hold a little candle-light vigil maybe, and fuck, 2 months later, everybody starts living their life normally again. So yeah, go for it pussy no one cares.
By anonymous at 12,May,12 16:21

Man were you ever hugged or were you just born this heartless prick.
By anonymous person... at 12,Jul,12 23:43 Fold Up

^^Just what the world needs another asshole like my younger brother.^^

Just let the dude tell his story.

One last thing: fuck you.
By anonymous at 12,Jul,12 23:45

That was directed towards the other guy


By anonymous at 03,Aug,12 02:04

Yeah, ok. I've heard it now from you and all these half-retarded responders. No one appreciates you? what have you done for them that may foster a little love and appreciation? You are so negative about the whole situation that it makes you so blind to see it clearly at all. One day you will wake up and realize that being a selfish prick that has to put up with other people's bullshit is not the end of the world. Not even close. And to bring religion into this matter? It only proves your ignorence. Your life will be what you make of it, you are obviously still young, insecure, incompetent, and shortsighted. Once you become me, then you might have real problems. You see, I never complained about a damn thing, my family, my upbringing, my wellfare, my attitude, or anything. I took the same shit every day 10 times squared. I sought god, freinds, counselors, and every little help I could afford to transform my whole outlook on these things. And I tried for 20 years and failed miserably. I kept positive through it all, and made at least a dozen come-backs in my life when driven to the edge of insanity or suicide. I flunked out of school, I came back with straight A's, like I had something to prove. When I got caught doing bad evil things, I turned into a saint, just to prove everyone wrong. When I sinned agaist God and shouted out loud at him for being an asshole, I woke up the next day and kept his commandments. This became a vicious cycle that eventually became my life that I tried to live through every day, month and year like it was a never ending nightmare. Go through that first for twenty years and maybe I can give you the right to complain. Life is a joke to me, I studied every religion under the sun in search of "god" and the "truth" and came up empty time and time again, so I don't believe in that shit anymore, like it could ever help me in any regard. Fuck god, he left me stranded and screwed ever time every which way, no matter how hard I tried to relate to him. I was kicked out of school for beating up another student, and that ruined me for a few years until I begged repeately just to get back into school. After a long struggle, I did, and got a degree. I wipe my ass with it now, I can't land a decent job. I worked for a company for a long time, 9 years, and was promoted twice. I did quite well. I had a jackass for a manager who hated my guts, and he fired me for working overtime. You get it? I was the over-acheiver who got screwed for being a hard worker. Now it's plagued my career, I am forever black-balled and can't even get a shitty minimum wage job. I was in a horrible car accident, my bst freind was killed in the wreck. I shouldn't have even survived, we rolled the 1985 chevy caprice 3 time going 50 miles an hour, I had my seatbelt on, my best freind didn't. Tossed about like a rag doll, his neck was twisted completely around twice. I was pallbearer at his funeral. Exactly one year prior to the day of that accident, I buried another best friend after his heart exploded suddenly on lunch break at work due to unforseen complications. Very tragic. Now I'm supposed to go on like I lived for a reason? I laugh out loud in the face of death. Just kill me now! I cry out. I broke my knee and doc gave me pills. I used to play sports alot and was pretty damn good at it, travelling baseball, collegiate hockey, etc, then it all went down the tubes. I got addicted to pain medications and was taking them just to get by and survive my horrible life. I married my girlfriend, who was so supportive (at first) that I needed somebody desperately to lean on. Now she hates my guts, and bitches and screams at me every waking moment of my life because I don't have a job (cant get one), bills are through the roof (we are bankrupt) I supposedly ruined her life (because I'm a worthless bum I'm told) and we cant even afford rent in our tiny one-bedroom apartment, in a shit neighborhood. Add on top of that the fact she gave birth to our first child, still just a newborn now, and my daughter is the saving grace and the sunshine of my life. Grant it, I love her so much and yet I am so miserable every day there is not much hope anymore. I am racking up thousands of dollars of debt just to survive and raise my kid, no way to pay for anything, damn near impossible to get a job, wife who wants a divorce, family who has kicked me out and finished with me, health issues I am helpless to begin to fix, freinds in the grave, and a God who just doesn't seem to reach out and lend me a helping hand. And yet, I still wake up every day and find a way live again a little bit more in this miserable existence. At least you have video games to play and brother and sister to complain to. I am basically all alone, with no money, no freind, no family, no job, no life, and no consolation whatsoever. You never had it so good, so live on brother, and die another day.


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