I'm a seventeen girl living in hell. It all started after I was sexually assulted by my guy "best friend" last year on April 1st. My aspects on guys changed. I known him for years and trusted him. The only peron who stpped me from killing myself a year before that because I was so sick of life. I would constantly get picked on in school and get called "spook" which meant ugly and a dicksucking hoe. None of this was true. I messed with nobody in my school because I knew if i did, it would be everywhere. Boys would come my way with the sweet talk to try and get in my panties but i wasnt stupid. when thy didnt get what they want, they would make up false rumors about me. The rumors got so bad that it got to my parents, which made them question was i sexually active. I wasn't. I was still a virgin. I wanted to kill myself because i saw no reason for me to live if i did was get critized, and bullied. Girls would threaten to beat me up through faebook, and in person. I did nothing to anybody. I never got why the school hated me so much. I felt alone. After i was sexually assulted, i lost my mind. i had no one. my guy best friend bragged about how he hit that, which techinally he didnt because it was sodmny... he would tell me how much he hated me and how i had no reason to live. i was believing these words because i had noone. I started to give myself up to the world, including two other boys, which one have me an STD, Chylmia a month ago. I got treated for it but he didnt. he still running out having unprotected sex. I was hurt in a way and felt used, even though i was. Recently, i had been talking to a nice guy who is extremely attractive, 19, in the navy, nice car, and got money. It wasnt eally in my aspects to go after a guy like this but he was just so cute. i had known him for a year he was in bootcamp. he promised he'd be there for me when he get back. for once, i felt happy. i felt brand new. when he came back we end up having sex. afterwords, i felt myself falling hea over heels for this guy.Us being together would be all would think about. My feelings were shot down when i would constantly see other gurls talk to him on his facebook. I would get so upset. Recently, I discovered something scary about myself. I had got a UTI Urinary Bladder Infection followed by a disease. I believe it is herpes....My world fell apart. I got so depressed i didnt eat, which caused me to blackout in the middle of the store infrnt of everyone. i was immmediately rushed to the hospital for care. I had syncose aka "fainting spells". I was homesick for days, missing school was bad. I was in too much pain to even walk and i still am..I was sooo scared to address this issue to te boy but i know i had to for us. I told him that it was a chance he couldve gave me something and he totally denied it. Now he is going to take me up to the doctor monday morning because he is scared as much as i am even though he isnt suffering with the pain i'm in. Painful blisters,bad smel that will not go away, Crying when i have to pee beause it BURNS SO BAD, painful stomach aches, bad itching. He was only the 2nd boy i messed with. Why me? Im always the one on the end of the stick just by One choice that i decided to make. I feel as if i want to end my life now. Im sick of seeing happiness in my face when no one around me knows the pain that rush between my legs when I walk, or the cuts on my wrists, or see the dried up tears on my face. No one knows what i go through No one gives a shit about me and it hurts to know it but i know i'm in it on my own with a broken heart.