Where to start? Well I grew up in what would look like a normal average family. Vacation every summer and trips to mountains or just little places almost every weekend. I had nice clothes and in school I was so happy. But what no one knew is my life wasn't normal. My real fater had left when I was 4 and I can't remember anything about him but that's when my step father stepped in and raised me. My mother and him smoked weed everyday. My two older brothers smoked too. My brothers got on pills really bad when I was about 12. When I was 13 my stepdad was smoking some weed out of a bong and I was joking around and said let me hit that to my suprise he said go for it. I said I was just kidding and he talked me into it saying that I was going to do it one day and it should be with him the first time. And of course I did. My brothers sold weed at the time also so I was getting high everyday from then on.I was about 13 when My aunt died from drugs. She shot her pills up but before she died she was sure to teach my brothers how to shoot them up. When I tured 15 I was skipping school everyday and my step father started amoking crack. I met a guy that sold weed and his mom was an alcoholic and didnt care what he did. I was always at his house drinking and smoking. My mother worked 12 hours so she didn't know anything that was going on, she didnt eve know my step dad was smoking crack and i tried to tell her a million times. she didnt want to hear it. I knew though because normally he wouldnt let me go anywhere, but whe he got hooked he didnt care. So i was 15 and acting grown doing whatever I pleased. My mother and step father finally split up when I was 16 after he wrecked two brand new cars.I quit school and I did so may different drugs from extacy to pills. and I even started smoking crack too (with my mother) But then I met a good guy when I was 16. I quit everything except smoke weed and drink. The guy i feel in love with smoked. My mother of course let me do what I wanted and my boyfriend moved in with us when I wss 16. We were in love and when I was 17 I got pregnant and quit everything I ever did. We got our own place and things were good for a while. I had the baby and the I startd having axiety problems. I just recently found out what it is after 3 years. It's OCD but since I am clean I feel like when people come around that things are contaminated. (look into it) After the first baby I got pregnant again had my second child and i am curently pregnant again. So I will have 3 kids. The father is still here and we are living on our own still. We used to be bestfrinds but we dont even talk anymore. He's a sex addict and if I dont have sex with him he acts like an asshole. But he doesnt cuss me and he has never hit me but I am still unhappy with the relationship but we have 3 kids together and have been together 6 years. I have no where else to go so I sit here unhappy and stuck. I don't have any friends anymore because I am clean. The worst part about my boyfriend though is that a lil over a year ago I got a letter from his cousin which is in prison saying that her child was his baby. The child is 7 years old. This was before he got with me but to find that out was a blow to my heart. I think about that a lot and it makes me sick. I cant beleive that after 5 years I had two kids with him and he never told me. He has nothing to do with the kid but I still think about it a lot. On top of this I dont have any help with the kids. My mother got with a man that beats her everday and we never see her. My brothers are on herion and in and out of jail. I have a little brother that lived with me since I was 17 and I took care of him but I couldnt afford it anymore so now he lives with my step dads brother and I never see him. Thats all the family I got which basically means I dont have anyone. My boyfriends family are all pieces of shit so its just me and the kids.. depressing. | |
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