Before I tell my "story", just need to mention that to many people my life is "great". From the outside it seems that I'm smart, have a good degree, a job and "friends". From the inside, I may have all those things, but I feel that I dont have the friends people think I am.
So the story begins from birth really (I'm 21 now). My parents were not really in touch with the social medium within the country as they were born and raised elsewhere. They gave me a name that was normal in their (and my) home country however, not so normal in the UK. For this, I was bullied throughout my school life. It began in primary school with the normal name calling, but due to it occuring on a daily basis I entered a shell, and did not feel secure emotionally or physically. The bullying continued from the moment I entered secondary school (aged 11). It was constant, rarely did a day go by when I did get verbally (or rarely physically) abused. It led to me having very few friends and even these were just people to hang out with at school, not to see over the weekend or even the holidays. I don't talk to anyone from my secondary school anymore. At university things began to get better, as lets face it people are more mature there. However, my social anxiety haunted me and I found it hard to trust people. I ended up with a small group of friends, however, recently they have begun to outcast me..increasing this feeling of loneliness I've had all my life.
I feel that this bullying has made me extremely secure, and not great socially. I consider myself to be depressed, and often have bad thoughts. Don't really know what I have to gain by telling my story, just felt it may be good to get it out.
Any advice or words of help would be welcomed (not sure if its possible on here though? lol).