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My Life

Posted by anonymous at May 12, 2012
Tags: Childhood  2012 May

Before I tell my "story", just need to mention that to many people my life is "great". From the outside it seems that I'm smart, have a good degree, a job and "friends". From the inside, I may have all those things, but I feel that I dont have the friends people think I am.

So the story begins from birth really (I'm 21 now). My parents were not really in touch with the social medium within the country as they were born and raised elsewhere. They gave me a name that was normal in their (and my) home country however, not so normal in the UK. For this, I was bullied throughout my school life. It began in primary school with the normal name calling, but due to it occuring on a daily basis I entered a shell, and did not feel secure emotionally or physically. The bullying continued from the moment I entered secondary school (aged 11). It was constant, rarely did a day go by when I did get verbally (or rarely physically) abused. It led to me having very few friends and even these were just people to hang out with at school, not to see over the weekend or even the holidays. I don't talk to anyone from my secondary school anymore. At university things began to get better, as lets face it people are more mature there. However, my social anxiety haunted me and I found it hard to trust people. I ended up with a small group of friends, however, recently they have begun to outcast me..increasing this feeling of loneliness I've had all my life.

I feel that this bullying has made me extremely secure, and not great socially. I consider myself to be depressed, and often have bad thoughts. Don't really know what I have to gain by telling my story, just felt it may be good to get it out.

Any advice or words of help would be welcomed (not sure if its possible on here though? lol).


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Comments:
By game plan time at 13,May,12 11:58

You need to talk it out, on a constant basis. With some type of professional therapist. You're young, still not fully mature, mentally or physically. You need a game plan for life, a mentor will help too. You sound pretty good for a 21 year old kid. Remember you are still a kid. Talk to a trusted therapist, keep it private, don't tell anyone else. At your age, they will just good on you. You will be fine.


By anonymous at 13,May,12 13:54

boo fucking hoo you had a shitty childhood, why don't you go cry about it you pussy. Fucking socially anxious piece of shit, go kill yourself. No one likes you cause your a british queer go fucking jack off to your skank queen. With the power of satan,and all the evil in the world, I wish the utmost suffering upon you, the utmost pain, and the utmost loneliness, and an eternity in hell.


OH SATAN I LOVE THEE, BRING PAIN UPON MY ENEMIES

Et incurventur ante te Satan malediceres inimicis vestris pater occidit omnes portant super dolorem.

Tenebrosa potentiae nocte
Congregati lucernam meam scriptor flamma
mittere hostium in umbrosa fuga
dimisisti inimicum meum misere dolor

Satan, I bow.
By Cursed at 13,May,12 17:13

God just told me that you're an idiot because he kicked Satan's ass like three-thousand years ago... and Satan is still licking his wounds. NEWS FLASH: You're on the wrong team bud.
By anonymous at 14,May,12 14:34

I agree with Cursed! lol ^_^


By anonymous at 13,May,12 13:55

I have just cursed you, with the power of Satan. Your faggot jesus cunt won't be able to help now


By Cursed at 13,May,12 17:10

Dear Friend-
This is what I do when I want to vent: I take a picture of someone I really dislike. I blow it up. Life size. Then I find my Yugoslavian AK 47, load it with bullets and unload it at the picture. If that doesn't do it, I go to the kickboxing gym, pull out the life size picture of the person who I dislike, and start punching and kicking at it till I want to vomit. It helps. When I'm lonely, I get on Life Sucks, post endless messages, and then smoke a cigarette. I go through every post. Read their post line for line, and really internalize their pain. It makes me feel like my life isn't as shitty as it could be. Other people have it alot worse then I do. I also pray. I ask god if god will strike lightning on my foes. It rarely happens. But I do have faith, that eventually, that lightning bolt will find it's target. So do yourself a favor, find peace in the fact that you're not the gregarious type. Go forth, and be an introvert. There is nothing wrong with that. If YOU'RE really desperate for friends, well, you've got us. That should be sufficient. We're on here all the time- And right now I am sending you a cyber hug- Have a good week-
Smile.
There's a rainbow outside, that god told me was just for you-
Cursed
By anonymous at 03,Oct,12 20:14

awww thats so sweet :) made me smile XD


By anonymous at 01,Sep,12 18:54

and my final comment to all you evil scum who have harassed me is FUCK YOU ASSHOLES.


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