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Posted by LOST988 at July 2, 2010
Tags: Abuse  Attitude  2010 July

I'm 28 yrs old. male. Growing up I was sexually molested by cousins, a "friend", and even a neighbor. I was only about 6 or 7 at the time so I didn't really understand what was going on until I got older..Anyways..The last several years of my life have been bad. I had a girlfriend that I loved so much even though she was a pill-addict probably slept around to get more..all I wanted to do was "fix" her, because I figured if I could do that, It would give my life some purpose and becaused I cared. She ended up dying in 2008 from an overdose. We met in 2005. after that, I've felt hollow and stuck and alone...But I learned NOT to complain, stop feeling sorry for myself,stop the crying and live my life the best I know, being optimistic. Since that point, life keeps getting harder and shittier by the day almost..My mom is crazy, She's been in and out of hospitals for the past several years now..she NEVER used to be this way until after my parents got a divorce after 38 years. Now, between me,my older brother,and older sister, we constantly have to take care of her..running out in the middle of the night to help her start her car, or to meet her somewhere during the day to jump her car,then she takes off and never calls and then says she doesn't have my number..when she clearly does, she's called it many times before. We have to buy her groceries even though she has food stamps and money to buy her own but for some mysterious reason it keeps disappearing. And the answer is clear..she's an addict. She never calls us to say thanks, or she loves us. She only calls when she needs something.

I had 3 best friends growing up, one hung himself a few years back, another is a drug addict, and the third is ruled by a woman. These days with the economy and all, there is just so much tension in my family and everywhere else I go..EVERYONE is pissed, or irritated, or something. I keep trying so hard to stay positive..but it never seems to pay off..I'm about to be layed off for the 2nd time at my current job of 5 years, not that it's been a really good job, but still, Time just keeps destroying everything I ever cared about..

I know I don't have the shittiest life out there, and I'm not claiming to. But, when you care too much like I do, life becomes a nightmare. How am I supposed to keep believing things will get better, when they only get worse??


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By anonymous at 11,Jul,10 15:55

Stop enabling mommy. Shes a druggie and they are leaches that will suck the very life out of you. Make her deal with her problem or lose contact with her until she does. Remember that she decides to use, she could stop if it really mattered to her. Figure out what makes you unhappy and work to avoid it. Figure out what makes you happy and pusue it. Make them as lists and look at them often. Get the fucked up people out of your life. If someone doesn't enhance my life most of the time, I avoid their pathetic asses. Some people are a complete waste of breathable air.
By anonymous at 22,Jul,10 21:56

Your so right too. Thank you for the advice..

By anonymous at 11,Jul,10 21:49

wow, u must have had a hot little body being molested as u say, which u enjoyed, but feel bad because our society does not accept it. fuck the girls, go find a guy and be happy :)
By anonymous at 22,Jul,10 18:28

get fucked.
By anonymous at 22,Jul,10 22:09 Fold Up

wait..I forgot to mention get fucked and die badly;)

By anonymous at 12,Jul,10 22:45

Your life does suck badly hahahahahahahahaa.
By anonymous at 22,Jul,10 18:28

thanks fucker.

By anonymous at 06,Aug,10 01:37

you need to see a shrink. this stuff will catch up to you unexpectedly and you too may find yourself in the mental ward. believe me, the after affects will catch up with you. you are above it now, however watch out for symptoms in the future.
good luck and don't give up on life either.
By anonymous at 06,Aug,10 13:54

thanks for the advice, and your input..Whatever I lost, mentally, I lost a long time ago..It's the only way I figure i've been able to handle this bullshit.
I have been to therapists before..but they don't tell me anything I don't already know..Find a passion,stop enabling mom, you are worth it..etc,etc..Still, I do appreciate your non-smartass comment.

By Brandilyn at 27,Nov,12 18:23

Smart thinking - a ceelvr way of looking at it.

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