LIFE SUCKS

TIME DESTROY'S EVERTHING

I'm 28 yrs old. male. Growing up I was sexually molested by cousins, a "friend", and even a neighbor. I was only about 6 or 7 at the time so I didn't really understand what was going on until I got older..Anyways..The last several years of my life have been bad. I had a girlfriend that I loved so much even though she was a pill-addict probably slept around to get more..all I wanted to do was "fix" her, because I figured if I could do that, It would give my life some purpose and becaused I cared. She ended up dying in 2008 from an overdose. We met in 2005. after that, I've felt hollow and stuck and alone...But I learned NOT to complain, stop feeling sorry for myself,stop the crying and live my life the best I can..you know, being optimistic. Since that point, life keeps getting harder and shittier by the day almost..My mom is crazy, She's been in and out of hospitals for the past several years now..she NEVER used to be this way until after my parents got a divorce after 38 years. Now, between me,my older brother,and older sister, we constantly have to take care of her..running out in the middle of the night to help her start her car, or to meet her somewhere during the day to jump her car,then she takes off and never calls and then says she doesn't have my number..when she clearly does, she's called it many times before. We have to buy her groceries even though she has food stamps and money to buy her own but for some mysterious reason it keeps disappearing. And the answer is clear..she's an addict. She never calls us to say thanks, or she loves us. She only calls when she needs something.

I had 3 best friends growing up, one hung himself a few years back, another is a drug addict, and the third is ruled by a woman. These days with the economy and all, there is just so much tension in my family and everywhere else I go..EVERYONE is pissed, or irritated, or something. I keep trying so hard to stay positive..but it never seems to pay off..I'm about to be layed off for the 2nd time at my current job of 5 years, not that it's been a really good job, but still, Time just keeps destroying everything I ever cared about..

I know I don't have the shittiest life out there, and I'm not claiming to. But, when you care too much like I do, life becomes a nightmare. How am I supposed to keep believing things will get better, when they only get worse??