I can't believe that there are so many people out there who feel like I do. I have never googled anything about hating life before and when I did I found all of this, which in some strange way has been of comfort. I really do hate myself and feel a total waste of space on this earth. I have eyed off the rafter in my shed and the rope and in some weird way feel comforted that it's there when things get too much. Today it feels too much but I am so tired that I can't be bothered going outside. I don't know whether that is a cop out or not, but that's how it is. I only ever try to help people or do someone a good turn yet I seem to get abused all of the time. My pot is empty and I have nothing to give anymore, so no point being here really. I have a couple of pets and they are both 15 years old, so as soon as they have gone, I am out of here. I am have held a management job and worked in Govt for nearly 40 years, was sexually assaulted by my boss over a long period of time, felt dirty and worthless. I have no family and my mother died 2 years ago, so hung around for her. I spent my whole life caring for my parents, being criticised by my siblins who have all cut me out of their lives due to me protecting assests after our father died. I had to do that as Executor and I had the responsibility to realise my mother's assests. Not according to them. I no longer work due to having a heart attack about 4 years ago, which was due to my high pressure job and no support to do a 4FTE position, then I became depressed and had a breakdown I guess. I couldn't work again, so here I sit in total misery, not knowing where to from here. I spend my life in bed hoping that I don't wake up.