From what I'm seeing, many people are complaining bout getting hurt, or those physical things. Have you ever been through the pain of loosing ur dad at the age of 12, and regret every single way that u treated him, even if it's the most little thing. Then having to move across the country because ur mom can't afford the house, so you'll have to live with ur cousins. You loose all ur close friends,and love ones. you had to say goodbye to them all with a fake smile on ur face to hide all ur tears.You've never dared to be loud and talk normally at ur new house because one of your cousins sleep all the time, and would yell at u if ur laughing with ur friend on ur phone at 3:00 in the afternoon. And have to live in a house that is always 16 degrees in the winter. A house that doesnt feel like a home. At ur new school you couldn't make any new friends that can even compare to ur old ones, because the areas u live in is so much more different than the area u used to live in. All the friends that u make can only joke around and study with u. Not one of them can have a true, deep talk with you. You look around every where and see people smiling, dating, and having many friends. But ur just there, all alone. You go on facebook, and see many people posting about their love problems, and how stupid their parents are. you wish u could be them, just having those problems. You realize how good ur life was in the past. All u had to worry about was friends trying to date ur boyfriend, and parents not buying things for u. But now, you even have to worry about things that a 12 years old kid shouldnt have to worry about, such as money, calculating if you and ur mom can ever get a new house that actually feels like a home, and going everywhere with ur mom to translate what people are saying because ur mom's English is very poor. You just sit there and realize how bad ur life is. The pain in ur heart is covered by ur smile, but when ur alone, u cant hold in any more and cry like a weakling. U have no one to tell this to. You have no friends who can have a deep talk with u. Ur mom? No way. She already has to go to work from early in the morning to late a night just so u and her can have a better living. And she has to live with the pressure of dying because she already had cancer before, and can have it again with a huge chance of dying like how ur father died. She thinks you don't understand this because ur so young. But does wisedom and knowledge really come from age? I believe it comes from experience. All u want right now is u and ur mom to stay healthy, and have a better life. And to find love, and no, that doesnt have to mean dating. Maybe just friendship. To find a friend who can make ur heart warm is a true treasure. Someone who can drag u out of the darkness. U believe. But u know truthfully that ur hope is dying. Ur becoming heart less. Not caring for the feelings of anyone anymore. You really hope this can change. But.. u know that it may never. | |
You know, for a twelve year old, you're pretty perceptive! And you know what? it's ok to cry. You have every right to be sad! I'm sorry to hear about your dad, that's heartbreaking. You and your mom have been thrown out to the wolves so to speak, and obviously you're growing up quicker than the kids around you. It's not fair, but life isn't fair. Things never go as planned, loved ones are ripped from you, and still you have to forge ahead. Living with relatives sucks- no matter how you slice it, but it's better than living in the street? Try to be strong- it's alot to ask for all you've lost, but your mum needs you to pull up those boot straps up and do well in school. She is trying her best to make ends meet and thankfully, you understand this. You may not appreciate your Aunt/Uncle, or your cousins, but when the shit hits the fan, family is all you have- So, be brave please be brave, and more importantly, patient! In reality, high school is just a stepping stone. Those good friends you left behind- they are still with you, and always will be if you keep in touch with them- YOU can get through this! Give it time. Time heals many things... I know it's scary to make new friends, but try to reach out and get to know them better. Put yourself out there- and see what happens... Tell them about your dad, tell them how sad you are, and I bet you they will listen and sympathize- if they don't care, you don't need their friendship.
Go to your school counselor too. They can help sort out your feelings, and point you in the right direction for your future-
Use any and every tactic you can muster to find happiness again. You're a smart kid- the smartest 12 year old that I've ever come across-
Good luck sweetie, keep us posted.
Cursed
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