ok. to start off, my life does not actually suck. i'm just confused, hurt, and i wanna get some things off my chest.
like i said, i don't exactly live a terrible life. our family isn't financially constrained. i have my own car. i had my bachelor's degree from one of the most prestigious universities in the country. i'm currently a law student at another posh university. i have a fat allowance. i have a gorgeous and caring girlfriend who loves me and whom i love dearly. i'd like to think that i'm good-looking. i'm quite popular in school. i have a lot of friends. last year i was class president and member of the student council. at present, i am an important officer of my fraternity. i have my own band. i can sing and dance well. i usually get what i want and i never had to work hard for anything in my entire life. actually, i could say i'm quite spoiled.
the things is, my parents don't get me.
they don't understand me at all. they keep on pressuring me to do great in every single friekin' thing. i have to be the perfect son everytime and they don't realize how fucking hard and depressing that is. i feel stretched way beyond my capacity and i somehow usually end up as a disappointment to them. they don't understand that beyond the four corners of our house, i have my own life. i NEED to have my own life. i cannot be tied up with them for the rest of my existence.. i'm turning 22 in a couple of weeks for god's sake! i just feel that i'm still treated like a child. im still subjected to curfews for crying out loud! it's frustrating and it's making me go insane!
they cannot expect me to always be the perfect son and big brother to my younger siblings, while i struggle in juggling my duties to my academics, my affiliations, my girlfriend, and to MYSELF. too much is expected of me that when i deliver less than perfect outcomes, it goes on unappreciated. I AM A HUMAN for fuck's sake!! im not and will never be perfect.
they said that i had too much of the finer things in life and that i will never survive without their help. thus, i got a job own my own efforts. i didn't depend on their connection and influence. i thought i have proved them wrong. that i can sustain on my own. but no, they just taught that it only made matters worse for me. that i wasn't thinking too clearly and that my work only added unnecessary burden for me.
and they don't understand why i never want to stay long inside the house?! they say they only fear for my life that's why they want me leashed. what they dont realize is that when im out, i feel more alive. i feel more at ease in my own skin. i forget all the pressures that are thrown at me. i can focus on myself. i feel free. it's like im in an adventure and the world's all mine for the taking! what i feel is not different from a bird that's soaring high into the sky.
you may think of me as being ungrateful but that's not true. i love my parents. i really do. but they have to understand that they can no longer control my life. they have to realize that i'm old enough to decide for myself. they need to stop manipulating every move that i make. i want them to just observe how i handle life. if i make good decisions, then they're free to be happy with me. if i stumble and fall, they need to let me get back on my own and learn from it. I JUST NEED MY FREEDOM!
is that too much to ask for?
i hope my family realize this soon or i'll end up going e=insane from all the drama. tnx for taking the time to read this.
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