ok..... so things started turning bad for me like 6 months ago. thought it'd just be a passing phase and that it's end, but it just keeps on gettin worse. i lost my job 6 months ago, didn't mind it that much as i was planning to go to germany for my further studies. at around that time my girlfriend too moved to germany, so it was added motivation for me. anyways, had to learn german to a really high level to get the admission. worked my ass off, didn't sleep at nights and finally managed to clear the exam, got admitted to one of the best engineering universities in germany. applied for visa, but no sign of it.... people who applied much after me are ready to leave while i don't even know what's happening with my application. for all i know it's been flung away in some corner where probably termites are eating it away. perhaps being brown and from a developing country meant that i had the word "refugee" stamped on my forehead for no fault of my own.
so as things stand now:
no job despite graduating from one of my country's best universities. n it doesn't look like i'm gonna get one anytime soon.
no studies, somethin i worked my ass off for
will probably lose my girlfriend
n i'm pretty sure that soon enough, even my parents will start detesting my very presence at home
n yes, i do here lectures of how i should keep workin hard and how GOD takes care of each one of us. i've worked my ass off, sometimes more than 20 hours a day, i don't need a lecture on workin hard. and even if there is a GOD, i guess he happily chooses to ignore my existence.
right now i'd b much happier if i was diagnosed with some terminal disease like cancer or huntingtons. but then i guess some of us are just meant to be miserable, we're not even lucky enough to be given an earlier death.