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what's wrong with me

Posted by anonymous at May 19, 2012
Tags: Attitude  Juvenile problems  Loneliness  2012 May

Ive just turn 18 and tonight i'm prteey much sat in my bed crying, my life sucks. I am in college and at first i tought things would finally work out for me after i've finished high school but no, i keep crying myself to sleep, i keepfeeling this pain in my chest. I honestly believe that i'm gonna die alone and that scares the shit out of me. I know i can't keep a friendship or anything like that. I spend the most part of my time in home alone. I just wish i could have someone to talk to and to tell me that everything would be ok but instead of that i try my best to cry in silence so my family wont notice that i'm crying in the dark.
I need help, i'm not okay, but no one notices how bad i am so i just wake up every morning and pretend that everything is alright, i fake a smile and keep with my life. I like college because it keeps me busy, so busy that i can't think about my pain. But when friday arrives i stay in my room alone and all i can think is how fucking lonely i am and that is so painful.
I'm tired, so tired, it aint even fair.
I just wish someone could hug me and say that i'm gonna be alright, but no one will ever do it.


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Comments:
By anonymous at 19,May,12 12:54

Add me on facebook www.facebook.com/dev.asish.soren
By anonymous at 19,May,12 15:27

Don't add him he's a smelly fucking indian.
By anonymous at 21,May,12 12:11

yor mother fucking bastard have yo sucked indian penis or wat dat yor telling is smelly. yor mother pussy may be smelly just go n smell it just now fucked,,, be careful next time wen yo take india name..
By RealityOverHope at 21,May,12 17:38

India? Shut up cunt go drink cow piss and worship your stupid monkey/elephant gods.


By RealityOverHope at 19,May,12 15:32

Is it hard? Why don't you kill yourself and accept that fact that you are simply inferior to everyone and every thing in this world. You're garbage, and you know it. No one wants to hug you, for one cause they don't want your shitty fucking existence to rub onto them, and two you smell so fucking bad that all the soap in the world wouldn't make you feel better. No one wants to talk to you since every little word you say, every little vibration your vocal cords fucking make are shit, garbage and make little kids kill themselves. Haha, you stay alone on Friday's to, jeez my down syndrome brother(He's a fucking cunt to by the way, LMFAO he talks so funny) goes out to parties on friday fucking nights. Sad piece of shit, pull the trigger.
By Shocked at 19,May,12 17:07

HOW DARE YOU SPEAK LIKE THAT? I could not believe what I was reading as I read your vile comment. I simply cannot understand why people feel free to be so hurtful and hateful when they are protected by the privacy of anonymity. Words spoken online such as yours can wound a person just as deeply as those spoken in person. The poor soul whose comment you responded to was so desperate for reassurance that he/she/other reached out to the internet community for a helping hand. As far as you know, your comment succeeded in pushing them further into the dark, or even over the edge of suicide. Look deep into yourself and please try and find enough humanity to apologize for your comment.

As for the poster of the message: however you feel right now, I beg of you not to harm yourself in any way. You are going through PLENTY of pain at the moment; you do not need to add to your burden. Also, remember that EVERY HUMAN BEING is worth something. Below our different appearances, backgrounds, and character traits (and flaws) we are ALL searching for acceptance. ALL OF US. And we all deserve to be happy.
Considering the dark place you are in right now, you probably do not believe what I'm saying. "Why should I believe a silly little motivational lecture from some stranger on the internet?" I will tell you why.
Because I was in that dark place, and I am still struggling to find my way out of it. I am also struggling with depression, which includes feeling worthless, unloved, and deserving to die. I am an overweight, awkward, and snippy individual. I spend each day at school searching for signs that I am accepted among my peers. I have engaged in self-harm and suicidal fantasies. But when I hit my lowest point, I looked deep down inside myself and found the strength to keep going.
I am telling you my story because I believe you have that strength. It is buried deep inside of you, and you don't know that it is there. There are others who can help you find it if you don't have that strength. When I was desperate for help (like you are), I found a therapist and a psychiatrist. Together, they found medicine and taught me alternative ways of thinking that have SAVED MY LIFE. I encourage you to follow in my footsteps and do the same. I have faith in you.
Please reply to my comment so I can be assured you are still alive.
By anonymous at 20,May,12 03:57 Fold Up

Jerk fuck do you seriously comment on every post what gives you the right to treat people this why.
By RealityOverHope at 21,May,12 17:30

I'm being fucking honest, you can be 'nice' to her, and 'support' her, but in the end, you know her life is irreversibly destroyed and the only realistic solution is suicide.
By anonymous at 22,May,12 05:24

Do the world a favor and you go kill yourself douche stop righting this horrible shit.
By anonymous at 27,May,12 03:12 Fold Up

I feel sorry for you... It's people like you who make me lose hope for the human race. How could you say such hurtful things to your fellow man? I pray for you, and hope you take a hard look in the mirror (realityoverhope)... You need help..
By anonymous at 28,May,12 06:09

just an internet troll, ppl like this feel superior hiding behind a computer screen, when in reality they are just cowards
By anonymous at 30,May,12 20:43 Fold Up

Lol. Haha this is funny, but sad at the sametime.


By IceWriter at 21,May,12 12:07

Go to "Quiztron.com" or "Youthink.com", and create a profile there. Look for a user named "IQ" *That name wasn't taken by then somehow.*. That will be me. PM me. And I will be your friend. I promise.
I understand completely. I just turned 18 as well, and have been lonely for a good part of my life, and will be even moreso when I'll start college in the Fall. I'de honestly like to be your friend, so make sure to look for me, because I'll be there.


By Anissa at 21,May,12 23:05

People please. This person needs guidance, please no fightning, though I do agree that some of these comments are vile. Listen Hun, it isn't the end off the world. I'll be your friend, i'll hold your hand and be there. I am lonely quite myself but I try to ignore it and meet people. You cannot keep runninng away from your problems, you must face them, or they'll come at you harder. Don't worry, im sure there are caring people but you have to find them. I know how you feel but dont think such thoughts, it's unhealthy. Want to hang ouymt iff im near you? Im probably one of the most caring ppl since im generouss and such. Dont worry. Just hang on. :) Im here...


By anonymous at 21,May,12 23:44

Sweetie, you need to tell your family what is going on. You need to see a doctor right away......please get help. Just hold on and pray. I used to feel this way before I went for help as a young woman. If I can make it, believe me baby....you can make it too. I am now married to a wonderful man and have a child....and I am happy. You can be happy too>>>you need help. God bless, hold on, and get help baby.


By anonymous at 22,May,12 10:34

Good Morning. Are you ok?


By anonymous at 27,May,12 15:45

To realityoverhope. You are sitting behind your keyboard saying these awful things to people that are obviously in pain,and you say these cruel things to them. I was going to say something degrading to you,but your probably hurting worst than any of us,and it makes you feel tough trolling the web to emotionally hurt people,while not showering or leaving your room for days on end,hiding behind your closet door like a coward. Just remember this is life and death for some people.


By anonymous at 28,May,12 13:42

Wow there are some real assholes in here!! Well my theory on assholes is they are the MOST unhappy people in the world.. because ya know if u have to put someone else down to feel better about yourself then that is a pretty sad thing.


By anonymous at 28,May,12 15:11

i feel like if you have nothing nice to say in the first place then keep your fucking thougts to yourselves. Some of us are actually here to help one another, and if you're going to continue being dicks then all i can say is how much i pitty you the day you realize what pathetic people you are. Just try to be nice. Unlike me because im being a dick right now ^-^. I cant really do anything but say that times are hard but getting through those times makes life so worth it. I wish i could be positive but nope. So if i cant really improve my own behavior then the least i can is try to help others


By Schizzo at 20,Jun,12 01:46

'ello'ello, just wanted to post cause pplz were being jerks, disregard them and read this.

___________________________________________________

i'm not much older than you, and I understand where you're coming from with your lonliness, i feel the same way at times, but times change, and life does get better, i know thats such a cliche thing to say but its more true than ever, the small beautiful good times make it worth going through all the horrible shitty times, and i do really hope you find your way in this crazy life, just be strong and one day you'll see it will get better.


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