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fuck it

Posted by anonymous at May 20, 2012
Tags: Health  2012 May

I am 48 dying of heart disease and insulin dependent type 2 diabetes. I have never been married and I do not have any children...two things I really wanted out of life. What else is new, I never get what I need or want. In addition to the diseases I suffer with chronic pain in my back and neck every single minute of my miserable existence. On top of that I have carpal tunnel in both wrists, nerve damage in my left hip, diabetic neuropathy in my feet and hands, my left knee is destroyed from football and bicycle crashes and my right ankle is destroyed from auto crashes and football. I take some 17 different meds everyday and a minimum of two insulin shots. I am trying to survive on an 1100.00 a month income from social security disability...that sux! All my physical problems coupled with living in poverty have made me say fuck it! What's the point?! I'll never be able to have children and a woman who loves me as much as I love her. My life is only going to get worse. The pain will never stop...I already have a 100% clogged artery on the back side of my heart that is untreatable...I have a pacemaker/defibrillator in my chest and seven stents in my heart. There is nothing I can do to make my life fuck it! Suicide is looking like a pleasant relief of my miserable existence...seriously


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FUCKING LONELY March 16, 2012
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By anonymous at 21,May,12 11:58

hey man come on we all need to die one or the other day just have faith in god yo ma be christian, Muslim, on ne region. just have faith god will ans yo n make yo an healthy man. sai baba bless yo

By Cursed at 21,May,12 12:13

I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty to do a three card spread for you- may it guide you for decisions to come...
Your Past Card that was drawn: OPPOSITION- The Seven of Swords. It represents a Crone and her Black Cat. The black Goddess, third in the Trinity. Her function is to CAST THE CURSE OF DEATH. A holy woman, her card indicates: Quarrels, Curses, Interference, Secret ENEMIES. Deliberate Hampering of Movement.
Your Present Card: KALI- The Queen of Swords (reversed) In general the Reversed Queen of Swords can indicate stumbling blocks; these are most often created by other people besides you but occasionally refers to those which you are creating. Do you behave in ways that people find abrasive? Are you shooting yourself in the foot without realizing it? If you don't know, ask someone you trust to be honest with you.
Your Future Card: VIRGINAL- The Queen of Cups. She is THE ICE QUEEN and stands in the CAVE of THE HEART. In an upright position, the Queen of Cups indicates the need to tap into your feelings and unconscious self. Itís important to be conscious of your dreams and intuition. Allow your emotions and intuition to inspire you. Any endeavor in the arts could bring great emotional satisfaction. Those around you may come to you for emotional support. You are a natural nurturer. Itís important to remember, however, not to be overly influenced by others.
In some cases, a Queen of Cups can indicate a situation that requires you to follow your heart and not your mind. You may be required to turn inward and explore your emotions about a particular situation. A caring friend or family member may offer you valuable help. You may find that a mother figure will aid you in important matters. A loyal woman may enter your life. She could serve as an important ally.
This is what your cards tell. Your past and present cards point to a strong likelyhood of being cursed. Fortunately, your future card should give you hope. My advice would be to turn inward, and gain strength with spirituality. It's what your future card suggests as well...
Good luck my friend-
By anonymous at 21,May,12 17:09

Shut up you stupid cunt, you believe in that shit?
By Cursed at 21,May,12 17:30

I am neither stupid. Nor am I a CUNT. And yes, I do believe that with focus the unconscious can tell us many things.... Would you like me to tell you what is in your future?
By anonymous at 21,May,12 22:10

Don't you just love people that don't know what respect means
By anonymous at 21,May,12 22:09 Fold Up

Damn ur first to cards nailed it!

By juice at 21,May,12 14:37

Don't know why but it doesn't feel like your life really sucks, otherwise you would not have been sittin on your computer typing this sad story. I don't know if your story is true, cause if it were than right know you would have been thinking about somethin else (about your situation possibly) instead of surfing the internet.
And the word "seriously" at the end of your story.... doesn't sound serious at all...
By anonymous at 21,May,12 22:08

Shows what you know...when you spend all day everyday for eight fucking years thinking about your situation you need to walk away and do something different...but as you can see my situation is so FUCKED up it never escapes my thoughts...EVEN WHEN SURFING THE INTERNET grow up asshole!

By RealityOverHope at 21,May,12 17:09

Awe, your life sucks? Just fucking shoot yourself you stupid pussy faggot. Fucking do it. Diabetic piece of shit, wasting our health care money, well no one gives a shit you sad waste of oxygen rat. Infertile excuse for a man! No women wants to be around a coward cunt like you.Poor piece of shit. Suicide is the right thing to do, I recommend shooting yourself in the head for the least amount of pain, since your brain recieves and interprets pain, and without a brain you can't feel pain, shooting yourself in the head is painless, and quick. Plus you'll be knocked out instantly by the blast(If a punch to the head can knock you out, a bullet EASILY will). No pain, just fucking do it, no one will care.
By anonymous at 21,May,12 17:48

Hey you fucking bitch. Why not show sympothy you stupid cunt. Bet your a fucking weakling of a person that thinks he is a tough ass
By anonymous at 21,May,12 17:48 Fold Up

The world would be better without assholes like yourself. You won't be acting saying this shit if it was you that was getting ready to die of a heart attack and lived in chronic pain every day. When you die, may God have mercy on your soul for you lack of compassion.
By anonymous at 21,May,12 22:12 Fold Up

Man I thought I had
By anonymous at 13,Dec,12 12:22 Fold Up

Are you Out of you're Ever Loving Mind You poor excuse Of human !
By anonymous at 13,Dec,12 12:26 Fold Up

33 and my whole Life i wanted A husband and A family .My mother died a slow miserable death that i have to live with everyday in my head Life is very hard and i just do not get it at times I do know the Lord Without him i would be nothing May god bless you all !

By anonymous at 22,May,12 03:38

I'm sorry to hear about your suffering. I'll say this, in all due respect, get to know jesus, he went through more suffering than any man, so that we could be forgiven our sins. He loves you, and he knows personally what your going through. This life on earth has its share of hardships and problems, but its temporary, the afterlife is not though, do you know where your going after this life? There is meaning to this life, and whether we accept jesus or not has alot to do with where we spend the "afterlife".

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28

Whats impossible for man is possible for God. He will comfort you, give you everlasting life, provide for your needs, give you a new life.

I dont know what your beliefs are, whether your athiest etc.. give jesus a shot at his word.

I'll pray for you man, keep on living, there is hope.


By anonymous at 22,May,12 05:19

Since you are dying may I please have your car and a check for 10,00 smack-er-oos? I am a recovering crack addict and I really want to buy a sailboat so that I may sail the ocean-blue. Please keep me in mind.
Spanky (the hand)
By anonymous at 24,May,12 01:45

Lol...I don't have a car or 10,000...check the definition of poverty

By anonymous at 22,May,12 12:24

I'm sorry that so many people take it upon themselves to make you feel insignificant on here. I respect your courage to write your story and apologize for the lack of humanity of the human race. I have no idea what to tell you. I don't really believe in religion, but I think there is something we cant comprehend that follows this life. I don't know if suicide is your answer, but you seem strong willed enough that I don't think it is. I would write your story down in full and put it in an e-book or something. You might be able to help others and release some of your pain, it could make you a small bit of money as well. I don't have the answers, but I hope you get better. You don't deserve what you have been dealt and I applaud you for making it this far. You are stronger than you know. Good luck.
By anonymous at 24,May,12 01:43

Thx (:

By crorkz at 03,Aug,14 18:54

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