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Why Bother With Life

Posted by anon at May 23, 2012
Tags: Attitude  Failure  2012 May

Since as early as I can remember I had been picked on daily through my school life. It started when a couple kids decided to throw sand in my face in pre-school. Yes I can remember that far back. From there it was a daily routine right through primary school and secondary school of physical and mental torture. Had even been hospitalised several times because of it.

Finishing school with a score so low I was unable to enter any classes at university I wanted, I went out looking for a job. I had got a few very ordinary low paying jobs but it was a start. Moved into different cities to find better work however I was too unqualified to get anything good.

Fast forward to today. I am 32 years old, live with my parents. Don't earn enough to live by myself. Had 3 distant relationships with girls that only lasted a couple months. Had sex only once with a prositute. Watching all my friends around me grow up, buy houses, have families and move on with their lives. Im stuck going no where. I have been looking but women these days want someone successful. For more than 10 years I have wanted someone to hold me and love me but to me now, it is all a fantasy. I have even tried dating sites. Sent out 100's of contacts to women and have got ZERO replies. Not even just to be friends.

Shit job.
No qualifications.
Depression, anxiety, stress through the roof on a daily basis.
Even my psycologist said my life was setup for failure.
Can't afford to live by myself.
No girl friend.
Feel like I am a waste of space.
What is the point.

Next time my parents go away for the weekend. I plan on going to the beach, try and swim out as far as I can until I am exhausted and drown. Should be easy considering I am also not a very good swimmer.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
No one sees it... April 18, 2012
I want to die May 27, 2011
By the time people will help it'll be too late. June 10, 2012
Feel invisable to everyone. February 23, 2012
:( March 23, 2009



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Comments:
By anonymous at 24,May,12 09:48

If you can afford to start a business. Even a free one like online, you would be much happier. I wouldn't mind living with my parents, at least I wouldn't have to pay rent. As for a female companion. Love and affection are overrated. The person you meet will have the same toxic thoughts you have - you will feel bad on a much higher scale. For anxiety, get some pills. Therapy from a psychiatrist is useless if it is verbal. There is a chemical imbalance in your brain that is making you feel bad. Most of all, if you can quit your shit job and start something of your own, even if you make less money, go for it. Just make enough to cover your expenses, that's only what you need.

Hope this help. Life does suck. If all fails, pull the trigger. There is nothing wrong with suicide. I doing it when my parents die.
By Cursed at 24,May,12 16:35

That is really sad- I hope you don't pull the trigger, what a waste.


By Cursed at 24,May,12 15:42

Hey bud-
You know, I have had to live with my folks on a number of occasions! In the past- everytime I got dumped by my long term boyfriend- guess what, yup, I ran back to my parents. Finally, I got on my own two feet, quit living with boyfriends, and found autonomy. Trust me- if I can do it, so can you! Living with your parents probably sucks, but it's better than living in the street. Appreciate the fact that you have a place to go when you're down and out- because many, don't! Anyway, I can understand your frustration, but you gotta pull through- Especially if you want to start a relationship with someone! People don't enjoy being around needy and depressed romantic interests. You've got to get out of your slump, before you can find love. Otherwise you'll just end up scaring away the potential love interest- trust me, been there, done that! As far as your job is concerned, please don't get too down. Almost everyone these days is suffering from this shitty worldwide economy! You are not the only one working at a low paying, crappy, job! Join the fucking club! I hate my job. Complain about it to anyone who will listen- but realistically, what else is out there? NOTTA! So, trust me, keep your shitty job, until you can find a better one!
I know you'll probably read this and go- whatever. But I don't offer advice unless I truly know what it's like- and just about all the points you laid out- well, I have either been there- or am living there-
So, find solace in the fact that others are suffering just like you- You are not alone!
Good luck- keep forging ahead, it's life-
Cursed


By anonymous at 25,May,12 00:15

I feel sorry for you. Don't lose your self confidence. That's that one thing that draw women to you. I'm very average looking. No money. Did I mention I am old (over 40)? And yet I have no problem with money.
make friends. True friends don't care how you look or how successful you are in life. You will a happier person.


By at 25,May,12 23:01

You did one right thing, having sex with a hooker. Get another one, have fun, party and get drunk.
By Crazy at 03,Apr,13 19:13

How about a Japanese prostitute. I wish I was a Japanese prostitute born in Toukyou Japan......


By Smoke too please at 26,May,12 11:43

Don't forget the bong too.


By anonymous at 12,Aug,12 22:24

My friend you remind me of me. No girlfriend always lonely and with a shitty grueling job. Ive been lonely depressed and mentally tormented for the last 29 years and my religious faith in an all good all mighty all wise loving caring merciful God has weakened in the last 18 years. And not just because my life sucks but because the whole world is a fuckup and a miserable sack of crap. This God allows both people and animals to suffer and die physically and mentally by one horrible fate or another. People are cruel and narure is cruel and this God is negligent and wont help us. Im not even sure this God is rational and Im not even sure He is sane and Im not even sure He has any reasoning ability. Praying and complaining to this God is like talking to yourself or its like talking to the walls. We have an absentee landlord for a God. For thousands to millions of years this God has allowed all manner of evils cruelties horrors and miseries. You cant shine shit and you cant get blood from a stone. And most girls and women are cold aloof and UNFRIENDLY and they are WORSE outside grade school than in it. See the life sucks/loneliness website Im condemned to endless loneliness. Unfortunately Im harassed on that thread and on other threads by trolls who are intent on driving me into fits of anger and I end up cursing and insulting them back. So much of this website is trolling and bullshit. My advice for us lonely guys is to forget women. Vapid scum describes most of them. Just get a blowup doll or a mannequin or a love doll since the real live thing is UNATTAINABLE AND UNFRIENDLY. God forgot to give women a heart. Theres countless lonely guys all over the country and all over the world who suffer and what makes this sadder is that we have a God who allows this. Cruel irresponsible negligent and incompetent describe this God or He is NOT in control of whats going on in the world and its the Devil who is ruling this cursed fallen screwed up world of ours. For almost 22 years Ive had horrific nightmares nearly every time I sleep. And 29 years of mental torment loneliness and depression since age 15. Since 9th grade. Since 1983. 29 fucking years of mental suffering and still counting. Cruelty and evil rules this world. The world is a hellhole.


By anonymous at 01,Sep,12 19:48

and my final comment to all you evil scum who have harassed me is FUCK YOU ASSHOLES.


By anonymous at 06,Jan,13 11:31

Dear Anon, don't settle for having no qualifications. Go to night school or weekend classes. You will meet new people. You have a better choice in the work place and you keep your mind busy. Even if you don't meet the girl of your dreams you will be better off financially for the future.


By anonymous at 26,Feb,13 22:33

there is always something wrong with suicide life sucks i agree but in the end, its the people that can pull through that make it find a way a small way to make yourself in anyway believe in your ability for when you can believe in your ability when you can have faith in yourself then others will have faith in you and trust me it might seem like an eternity to all who go through it but if you die you'll miss a chance to make your dreams a reality. so dont give up and dont rely on another person for happiness and other people for it rely on your self, your stronger than you believe and greater than you can ever see. from JIm


By anonymous at 23,Apr,13 17:23

its not about possessions or even relationships. look inside yourself... everylife has a value.
easy to say .

I have a phd. a 31 year marriage.
children who are doctors and teachers.
yet I understand your despair as I live it every day.
no one said life was easy.
you feel you have nothing and life is meaninglessness.
I appear to have every thing yet life makes no sense for me....yet
life is a struggle but you have to go on and live it there are no shortcuts.
my suggestion try every thing till you find meaning. it may be religeon , adventure, business or anything. I think it has something to do with caring for others more than yourself.
even after your parents.
mine died when I was 18 and I came from a home where my shoes were second hand.
all I can I offer is...... live your life, find meaning in helping others, organisations like churches can help , i have tried but it doesn't work for me I keep searching
but you like me can never give up.
I am sure it will make sense in the end but we have to see it through.
sorry if it sounded condescending but even people who appear to have it all can be lost but we have to continue searching for meaning.


By Liliam at 07,May,13 00:45

This is just the pefrect answer for all of us


By anonymous at 15,Sep,13 06:07

women always wanted someone successful and/or someone easy to control fuck that shit "real man" is consumers term


By anonymous at 12,Oct,14 05:03

before someone fuck u , u fuck them before they harm u.by this way u will get confidance.


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