I'm 27 years old, no kids, no lady and I'm miserable. My problem stems from my lack of having a great lady in my life. Ever since 5th grade, I knew I really wanted a special someone. Her name was Ros. I'm a black dude and she's a mix lady. I always felt I wasn't good enough or wasn't attractive in her eyes. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you know. Well I've moved on to other great ladies just to fail miserably. I say "great ladies" because of my respectful manners. But to be honest, they weren't great ladies. I've been raised to be a respectful man, honest, loving, understanding, patient, clean mouth, do-the-right-thing attitude type of guy. I don't blame the two ladies that damaged my heart the way that it is today. Their story is I was the first serious relationship they've ever been in with a guy. Both ladies stayed for 4 years each with me. The first lady was too immature and wound up getting pregnant by a dude who didn't want the kid. I felt good and bad because I felt like she got what she deserves but my other half felt that no one deserves negativity even after how she treated me. I wanted to marry her but now she's doing her own thing so that's good for me since I don't have to deal with someone else kid. My second lady is in the same category as the first lady. She didn't have any serious relationships with a guy before we met. I believe she started dating me only because she wanted to give something "new" a shot. She didn't date me for the right reasons; attraction, her liking me, wanting to date me, none of that. Her life was boring and she felt "why not, it's better trying this new relationship out then not trying". But I knew I was desperate. At this time, I'm 23 years old and I'm desiring to want my own wife, our own kids, and our own place and be happy. I spent 4 years dealing with this lady who doesn't love me like the way I love her. She's light skinned black and I think what she really like is white guys. There's nothing wrong with that but now I'm 27 and I felt like I wasted a lot of time dealing for nothing. All I EVER wanted is a great lady to be my bestfriend and make my life meaningful. I feel like I'm still in elementary school because my life hasn't changed since then. I could go on but I realize that my issues are not as bad as other people and I should just "suck it up", Grow up, be a man, etc. But my pain is real. I just wish my life could of been different.