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Disappointment

Posted by anonymous at May 27, 2012
Tags: Attitude  2012 May

My life is a complete mess. I search aimlessly for ways to redeem myself but fail miserably. It's unfortunate to accept that I can't think or function as normally as other people my can. After years of holding myself back from reaching my fullest potential I know that there is possibly no way that I can overcome the amount of anxiety if fill my head up with each waking day. I can't ever make the right decisions or have the right words to say even though I can't seem to make decent conversations at all. I have two of the most accomplished siblings who seem to have everything together. Being the middle child, I guess I always tried to stand out which has become my karma. I often question why I get up each morning just to toss and turn at night. Im truly just a lost soul who hasn't been living but only existing in a beautiful world. Eff it though. I hate that I've wasted two decades of people's time but I can honestly say I've tried my best to stand tall but fell short. I could list the tragic events I put myself through but its nothing anyone can do Anyone else feel this way? probably not to this extent but hey since there no such thing as time travel..ill just have to figure it out how to end it. I truly disappointed God. my family, friends, bf but most importantly myself and my name.


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Similar Entries:
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I suck March 17, 2010
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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 28,May,12 10:52

Life has no instruction booklet... and the only person you are responsible for impressing is yourself.


By anonymous at 28,May,12 13:14

Agreed. There is no way it, should, be. It'll exceed your expectations, living, if you stop imposing others vision, and try to determine, uncover, what your own is.
God, your family and friends know you are imperfect, because they are imperfect as well.
But, you are perfectly imperfect. Do you want to be a stock character, a stereotype? Your differences make you human; they tell the truth about how YOU feel.
And, no archetype will compare to who you are... you are gorgeous. Don't forget it.
So, with that in mind, be grateful for what you have, then you will have energy to create the life of your dreams.


By anonymous at 29,May,12 00:44

Oh YES! I feel that way probably even worse than you. I failed myself, my family. I made a fool and a mockery of myself in front of a lot of people by the decisions I made and the way I handled the disappointment. What makes it WORSE is that I have a child and nothing beats disappointing your own child and they think you are an embarassment and a failure. You would think I was a drug addict or an alcoholic or somthing but Im neither! Im just a product of an abusive family and was a teen mother. Two sure ways to make life one million times harder than it already is! In my situation, no matter how perfect you try to be, you never , ever, win.


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