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I cannot get through to my mother

Posted by anonymous at May 29, 2012
Tags: Family  2012 May

I live each day through a haze. I don't think i am depressed i am just fed up with life. I tried anti-depressants, therapy -the lot.Tablets make me like a zombie -no feelings,no emotions. I tried therapy- its just made me sad and angry.How can i not be sad if my mother has no feelings towards me. There was never any warmth or kindness.The only tears i see from her are at the airport when i am leaving but to me they are the tears of relief. When i was a kid my father used to drink a lot and he would shout at my mother, call her names.I used to stick up for her, sometimes it would get quite physical me and my dad hitting each other. But after the fight my parents would reconcile and they would say that i have got such a difficult character!? I was young then and i believed them. Its only then i went to therapy i could actually see that my mother used me like a shield and my feelings were never her concern.I am 36 now, I got married at 24 to a man i did not love or liked.I just wanted to get away from a family home. I thought i can build my own life but i am struggling. I got hurt so many times i don't feel anything any more. I got rid of all so-called friends who used me to make themselves feel better. I limited the contact with my parents,I still talk to them but i keep it brief. I cannot take from them another story of someone's daughter doing this and that and earning so much. I tried to talk to them, especially my mother so many times and tell her how i feel. She listens but says nothing. What more can i do? If my own mother don't care who will?


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Comments:
By anonymous at 30,May,12 16:22

If your own mother won't listen to you then who will. You should be able to talk to your mother if not one else will listen. That's how my mom are, if I try holding a conversation with her, it will most likely end up as arguing. I really don't have real friends I can talk to because of fear of my business being told to others. So your mom should listen to you, make her understand you.


By money maker at 02,Jun,12 20:09

36, not too old. How about making some money for a better life. Try being a hooker a couple of days a week, should work out fine. Good luck.
By anonymous at 06,Jun,12 09:44

Is that what your mother does?


By charterhouse.myopenid.com at 04,Jun,12 02:28

This may be hard for you to digest but try to remember that if your mother knew how to be better or different, she would be. The greatest thing you can do to improve that relationship is to accept her for who she is and to accept the limits of the relationship. The secret to managing relationships with family, or anyone for that matter, is to know and accept the limitations of each relationship. Beyond that, let the hurts and disappointments fall off of you as you move forward and leave them in the dust behind you. Forgive everyone who has hurt you. Do it for you. Build a new family from supportive and caring friends. Mostly, know that you are not alone. Millions of people have deep issues and problems with their parents. Accept how she is, accept that she can't meet all of your needs, and move on. Good luck.
By anonymous at 06,Jun,12 02:03

great advice.


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