All my life I've wondered what this life would be like without me. Some say that they need me, but is the really true. Do you really need me? Or am I just here as a benefit for you? No one really understand my pain or why I do the things I do. So what if I cut or take more medicattion then I need to. It's all my fault that I am like this. I'm taking hte blame. Suicide is never the opinion but sometimes I feel like that is the only way to exscape this bullshit that everyone is putting me through. No sees me for the person that I really am. All I want is to be happy, why can't anyone see that? I'm just a 14 year old girl who is different and handles her problems a different way. And since when did you ever have the right to judge me. You don't care, you're just reading this to judge me. I'm a person, better yet I'm a monster that no one can stop. I put myself almost into comas from drinking energy drinks, its who I am. I've never been happy, its all an act to show that you don't have to worry about me. But since when did you care? You're an act just as well as I am. My smiles aren't real. I cut to make the pain go away, but yet then I realize that the pain is still there when its gone. The words I hear and the things I see affect me. The music I listen to I can relate to all of it. Fricking YOLO. Its just a saying that doesn't mean anything to me. life means nothing to me. I should've done it when I had the chance.