Ugh...I've done it again. I've let myself hit rock bottom about guys..about parents...about friends...and about work. So let's start with the first one: I gave it up to a guy who I've been with forever,then I had a pregnancy scare, and he even went out and bought me the plan b pill to avoid a pregnancy, and still stuck around. So when he wanted to do it again, I said that I didn't want to do that whole thing again because he wasn't the one being the carrier of the baby...it would be me. And he got PISSED. He texted me today (yes, I said texted) and said he didn't even want to try "it" with me again. I was like, "Ok? What are you talking about?" and he's all "You freaked out last time." Screw you. Do guys EVER think of what we as women go through? Especially when we aren't even out of college yet, and he's pressured me a long time about this, AND I have all this other shit going on in my life...he has to pull this B.S. What a jerk...and now he's not talking to me (this all happend about an hour ago) and he's like, most likely to break up with me now. FML. Why do I even bother putting up with his crap? Ugh. Whatever...he can go ahead and dump me and knock up some other hoe because I SO do not have time for that. And the best part? Before this thing happend, he invited his friend and I invited my friend to my new place, and his friend grabbed me and kissed me, and when I freaked out and went to find my man, I found him making out with MY BFF. What the hell? I got mad at him and asked what the hell he was doing and he was like, "Oh..Nick and I thought you guys wanted to switch to try new things.." Holy shit! Are you that stupid??? (well...apparently.)Pfff...I think it's about time that I left his ass before he dumps mine. Period. Next thing..my parents. Oh my freaking goodness where do I even f@#$ing begin?? Well, I'm away in college and just got my own place. My stepdad is ALL emotional and cries all the time because I'm "gone". Umm....I'm in the same town as they are and holy fuck. ALL the time, they are BOTH calling me, keeping me occupied on the phone for atleast a half an hour every other hour of the day. Oh that's not all...if I don't want to talk, my mom will call back anyway, or she will stop by my house and will NOT leave until she's stayed for half the day. The other part? My stepdad will make himself throw up and he'll contemplate suicide if I don't talk to him. I'm like, wtf? How can you act like such an obsessive freak? What an idiot. Go ahead dude...kill yourself. See if I honestly give a damn because I'm sorry, I have to break it to ya man...I never liked you and never will. Understood? Good. Moving on..my friends. Ohhh what friends I have. ALL of my girls are constantly putting me down and walking all over me..calling me bad things in front of EVERYONE. I can hardly stand up for myself anymore because the things that they have the nerve to say just put my in complete shock everytime. Screw them...I don't need that. And finally work. Oh shit that crap sucks. My boss always threatens to fire me, but never does. He says that I'm a distraction to him and I make him horny, and he only wants to fire me because he "has" to try to work things out with his wife cuz they have 3 kids, almost 4. But then again, (he actually told me this)...that he's keeping me around ONLY because he thinks it's not gonna work out with him and his wife. And I tryed calling someone and telling them about this, but he said if I quit and if anyone knew what was going on, he'd make it impossible for me to get another job. *sigh*......too bad suicide isn't an option. I don't want to go to hell, but I'm already living it...so why not? Well, I already thought that thru. Life can't be that hard. I am the ONLY one who is actualy making it hard for myself. If my so-called "boyfriend" is being a dick, then it's totally and completely time for me to dump his stupid, sorry ass. If my parents and family are treating me like shit, then it's time to not have a phone, and move away and not tell them. If my so-called friends are being like this, then they aren't my friends....and independance is a plus. And about work...who needs it? Eff my career and college...I'm working at Burger king and Clothing stores for the rest of my life. I mean hey, I'd be doing something I loved, and not wasting my life away being miserable, paying off student loans for 30 more years, and not have to worry anymore...but I'd be happy :) | |
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