I have all the same feelings. No motivation no desire no strength no will. I have worked all my life. The last job i worked at until three yrs ago when i had to quit to become a fulltime caregiver for my mom. At first she was just ill with copd,osteoprosis, and hepetitis c. Seven months later she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer which had spread outside the lungs to her liver and bones. So now had I not only had grief from no longer having my job, my independence, no cash flow, and my social circle deminished entirely. I was now preparing my mother and myself for her to die. Did I mention I had done the same with my father who died in 2000 of colon cancer. My only child was being sent to Iraq during the holidays after my mothers passing. both my mother and father had children from previous marriges. I being the youngest by 11 yrs was left to take care of them individually by myself. My child is the only family I have at all. No grandparents,aunts,uncles,cousins, to ask for help from. And I cant burden my child with my problems. Now with no income, transportation, and my illness Im slipping further into this darkness deeper and deeper. All the people that say they are my friends have done nothing but take advantage of me and break me even more. I sit in my room alone and dont leave the house. I just want to board up my house with me in it and go to sleep until I never wake up.. | |
It is times like these, that really test a person's soul. You are a saint to take care of your parents- and as I am sure your child will eventually do for you-
Depending on how far along your mother is with cancer, I do believe that most states offer "hospice" care- and it should not cost you a dime? Please consult your local Hospice/Visiting Nurse Association, as I am not positive about the details... Even a couple of hours of relief from the burden of caring for you loved one would improve your situation considerably. NO- you can't do it all- and YES, you do need help! And, it is human nature to not ask for help- we have pride. Put aside your pride, and seek relief! Reach out to people you can trust- other siblings even though not related, should be stepping up to the plate! Please do not continue in this alone- try to find assistance-
A hug to you and I feel your pain-
Best wishes-
Cursed
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