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i dont even know anymore.

Posted by bobetta at June 14, 2012
Tags: Family  2012 June

i dont even know where to start. it seems like my entire life has been a mess. my parents divorced when i was young. no big deal, i couldnt stand my mom any ways. she was always so mean, yelled at me, called me names, told me she would have rather had a boy than me. she even tried ditching me on the side of the road, told me some one would take me, but they probably wouldnt want me either because i was so naughty. i was never naughty, i was reared great. my mo just took her anger out on me when her and dad got into a fight. it was rough for a couple years. basiclly live at the babysitters house because my dad worked afternoons at the police dept. then one day my dad meets a new woman. she was great...at first. as soon as she proposed her true colors began to show. she lied, told my dad i was horrible, claimed i stole from her, spit at her and the like. it got so bad i wasnt allowed out of my room except for school. i couldnt even go to the bathroom. i lived under my fathers roof but didnt talk to him. seriously, i wasnt even allowed to talk to him. i would have moved to my moms but my dads wife turned me against her and that side of my family. i believed everything that woman told me. though, when i was 15 i did try to get cps involved, but it some how turned out i was the one with the problem!!! so, she made me live with her family...a bunch of crazy F*s in TN. they treated me worse than their daughter. i was molested, starvedd, called name, told no one wants me, ill never amount to anything. i even tried to commit suicide! but no one even noticed. i was so so sick. finally some relief came, the kicked me out!!! but i was homeless and working for those door to door sales people going state to state to sell crap. then i became romanticly involed with someone on that crew. we moved in toghther. i got in touch with my mom after 7 years of no contact. i moved in with her and my boyfriend moved back to OK. we kept in touch, but he was toxic. i ended up running away to WI with him. turns out he was abusive, forced me to do drugs and had 2 miscarrages cuz of him. finally grew a set and i called the police on him. i have tried to move on but its like with all the negative the people in my life have said, i have started to belive it. i cant hold a job cuz i cant commit to it. i have no education cuz my stepmom and her family decided i dont need it. i have a great support system now, a great boyfriend, 4 wonderful cats. my mom and stepdad and grandma and my fathers parents. also b4 my second miscarrige, i tried talkin to my dad again. then his wife said she would divorce him if he didnt cut all ties to me.some days i wish i were just dead. i cant make the right decision ever it seems like. i could write a book with a the crap i have to deal with. i am just so sad all the time.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
why? March 14, 2012
Feeling Down February 21, 2012
Alone October 19, 2010
I dont know where to turn December 4, 2011
i dont have the energy to continue ... March 6, 2011



New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 22,Jun,12 15:16

why you always trying to reconnect with all these scumbags? thats whats wrong with all you people, you think you need people to get anywhere. TELL EVERYONE YOU HAVE EVER KNOWN TO FUCK OFF then start a new life. You dont need any cunt, only yourself. Dependent people make me sick, and are pathetic
By Cursed at 22,Jun,12 15:26

Which is why you will always be alone, naked in your thong, on Life Sucks.


By Cursed at 22,Jun,12 15:32

Hello friend-
It sucks to have in-laws that are controlling and obnoxious. But your dad chose this woman- and unfortunately she probably makes his life miserable too. In anycase, you said you have a strong and supportive boyfriend and other in laws that are nice. So, take that to heart- some people have NOBODY. Don't take anything personally, because obviously, it's not you, but rather the insecurities of a bitchy woman. Embrace the positive people in your life, and know in your heart that you are loved not by all but by those who count.
Cursed
By Still smells at 22,Jun,12 20:03

Summer odor.
By Cursed at 22,Jun,12 23:58

Nothing like the smell of pussy. Are you jealous that I have a vagina? Is that why you're plaguing every post I make? It's ok my dear- vagina envy becomes you....
By Up wind from the pungent odor at 01,Sep,12 13:34

I thought I smelled u through my computer speakers.


By anonymous at 22,Jun,12 22:06

I don't even know anymore, anymore than you.


By bobetta at 26,Jun,12 14:37

It just sucks i cant tell the whole story. I dont even know where to begin. So much has happend. Just happy i can give a brief description and try to vent a little. It is rough though. My dad and i used to be so close. And then poof! no more.
By anonymous at 10,Aug,12 00:23

Shut up


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