i dont even know where to start. it seems like my entire life has been a mess. my parents divorced when i was young. no big deal, i couldnt stand my mom any ways. she was always so mean, yelled at me, called me names, told me she would have rather had a boy than me. she even tried ditching me on the side of the road, told me some one would take me, but they probably wouldnt want me either because i was so naughty. i was never naughty, i was reared great. my mo just took her anger out on me when her and dad got into a fight. it was rough for a couple years. basiclly live at the babysitters house because my dad worked afternoons at the police dept. then one day my dad meets a new woman. she was great...at first. as soon as she proposed her true colors began to show. she lied, told my dad i was horrible, claimed i stole from her, spit at her and the like. it got so bad i wasnt allowed out of my room except for school. i couldnt even go to the bathroom. i lived under my fathers roof but didnt talk to him. seriously, i wasnt even allowed to talk to him. i would have moved to my moms but my dads wife turned me against her and that side of my family. i believed everything that woman told me. though, when i was 15 i did try to get cps involved, but it some how turned out i was the one with the problem!!! so, she made me live with her family...a bunch of crazy F*s in TN. they treated me worse than their daughter. i was molested, starvedd, called name, told no one wants me, ill never amount to anything. i even tried to commit suicide! but no one even noticed. i was so so sick. finally some relief came, the kicked me out!!! but i was homeless and working for those door to door sales people going state to state to sell crap. then i became romanticly involed with someone on that crew. we moved in toghther. i got in touch with my mom after 7 years of no contact. i moved in with her and my boyfriend moved back to OK. we kept in touch, but he was toxic. i ended up running away to WI with him. turns out he was abusive, forced me to do drugs and had 2 miscarrages cuz of him. finally grew a set and i called the police on him. i have tried to move on but its like with all the negative the people in my life have said, i have started to belive it. i cant hold a job cuz i cant commit to it. i have no education cuz my stepmom and her family decided i dont need it. i have a great support system now, a great boyfriend, 4 wonderful cats. my mom and stepdad and grandma and my fathers parents. also b4 my second miscarrige, i tried talkin to my dad again. then his wife said she would divorce him if he didnt cut all ties to me.some days i wish i were just dead. i cant make the right decision ever it seems like. i could write a book with a the crap i have to deal with. i am just so sad all the time.