So i am 20 now. 2 parents, 2 sis, 1 brother. Let's start back then in school. Bad choice of friends. I only had one, and was manipulative. I was weak and simply wanted to have someone to rely on, you know, an actual friend, but he simply wouldn't care about me, and i would cry about that. The hell i passed was not a thing a kid should suffer. Psychologists, having no friends, being laughted upon every day. Imagine having to sit alone during brakes because no one likes you. Praying that the teacher wouldn't ask to get in pairs for a work, all this for years and years. It may sound not that bad, but i would come home and lock myself in the bathroom to cry for hours.
Fast forward to highschool. I went to a different school, so new faces, new teachers. I REALLY tryed to get friends, i really did. It's not i'm ugly or dumb or whatever. I just don't like the same stuff others do. So i would shut up during conversations about football or tv stuff, as i didn't have a tv.
So actually, 6 more years of solitude. Day and night. No friends, just me. Parents worked till night, brothers and sisters were with their friends. I just played by myself. At least there was no mocking this time.
Now i graduated, got to college. No friends, bad marks, all alone again. After 2 years i still haven't passed my first semester...
I know there are worse stories than this one, but being all alone. Oh god, it's a battle everyday. I don't kill myself for the pain my family would feel. But shit, someday i'm gonna lose it, i know it's close, and i am crying while i write this. If you have a nice life or friends, cherish them. I would give anything to have at least one.