A-weep weep weep. A-weep weep weep. A-weep weep weep. Snushh.
Canst thou see? Canst thou see that I am the noble butt of every jocular statement. Or joke, to simplify. Perhaps nobody wants to insult me. But maybe they insult me by ignorance. Maybe I make myself ignorant. But canst thou see? Canst thou see this deadly grip I am placed in. Aye, the way I live is no way to live. Merely existing is not life. An atom exists, a brick exists but do they live? I am sentient sure but why must I suffer so? Oh canst thou see?
This is foul and pestilent and as hideous as myself. Why must my uncontrollable appearance be my life. You donít understand do you? It is horrid and vile and any other filthy word that would please you to use. I am as my life is; one of those filthy words. So why? Why canst thou see? This is no way for me to be. I disapprove of the filthy filthiness as much as the next person and yet since despite disapproving of my filthy filthiness other people still find me filthy filthy! I suffer twice O friend. But you are no friend of mine- I have no friends. Nobody cares but for the filthies of me. I am the one which you are lucky not to be. Bravo O friend you. Bravo O fiend you. Thou canst see. Thou wonít see.
Lucky for thou. Lucky for thou to place my problem, my issues, in the box of the HEE HAW HEE- that is not me. And a lovely box that is, O fiend you, however thou wonít see. Will thou? No.
And I am tired, O fiend you. This weariness of world grows thicker on my heart every day. Binding it, like a vine. And I am no looker. And I am no writer. So shush to you. My mind is still fogged, my heart is still deadened. Or my brain- the part that releases serotonin or melatonin or any of those...
Wretched chemicals. All this is, carbon and oxygen and hydrogen and whatever silly creatures make up me. And made me wrong. If only, O fiend you, they made me normal with reactions that reacted the way a good ittle-wittle reaction should react. Clearly no.
Oh you hate me, O fiend you? Why be surprised, I called you a fiend. I am not friendly or nice but neither have you been, O fiendish world and fiendish you. And friendly or nice is not pity. Wretched filthy words of pity. Pity pity, what a pity. Poor little ooka-woodum you are you. What a shame, what a pity. Say a kind word then leave forever. God knows your problems need attending to. All fair- all fair. But cast a thought to me. A real thought, not this piteous garbage thrown to me like a penny to a pauper. O please O fiend.
A-weep weep weep. A-weep weep weep. Snushh.
And I see but one option. O fiend. O fiend. Why must this option be used O fiend?
You know the answer to that rhetorical question, O fiendish you and O fiendish world.
A-weep weep weep.
My condolences O fiendish world and O fiendish fiends AND fiendish foes. All of you misunderstanding and unknowing fools. My apologies to my fiendish self. My atoms donít want to bond or react no more. They would like a different configuration. Apologies to my fiendish atoms.
So I leave for the nothings ..