I hate my life so much. I don't hate myself though. I think that I am an intelligent worthwhile person. I just fucking hate my job which takes most my time so I can safely say I hate my life.
I want to quit so bad but I don't know what will happen if I do. I am completely stunned. I don't want to work because the boss is confusing me to death. I can't move without wondering "Will I get shit for doing this?". I do something and I get shit for it and am told to do it another way. When I do it the other way I still get shit for it and am told to do it the first way. I am going out of my mind here. I am simply doing nothing right now unless I have to. Now I think I'm gonna get fired because I have stopped working as much as I should. Now I have anxiety. Fuck this. This is too much. Yet, I still don't know if quitting is the right option because I don't have another job lined up.
I'm gonna ask my boss to be transferred to another department, I think she will agree. I do like my boss and have learned a lot from her but this is going out of hand. I don't know what to do. I don't want to sit at home for 6 months looking for another job. That is demoralizing.My heart rate has elevated from the stress. I am averaging 90 beats per minute 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for months now. My job is harming my health. It's good I'm young or else i would have a heart attack right now.
Wish me luck. Fuck! | |
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