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Posted by Holly at June 19, 2012
Tags: 2012 June  Relationship

I'd like to start by saying I'm a woman over 30 year of age. I am currently unemployed due to the economy and have been desperately searching for a job for almost a year now. I receive no compensations because I do not qualify. Sometimes, I stay with my boyfriend for support. Other times, I stay with my brother and his family. I have very little money, no friends, and no social life. I feel so useless and helpless. To make matters worse, my boyfriend has been gone far away for a month now because of work and won't come back for a long while. Though I live with my family for the time being I don't ever disclose my feelings to them. I go on day by day pretending to be normal and try to do normal things, but I really feel as if all livelihood has been sucked out of me. Other than my boyfriend I wish I could share these feelings with other people but I've never been one to do that--not with any of my family members. I want to be optimistic and often tell myself that jobs will come eventually if I don't stop looking.

I guess the toughest thing for me is having my boyfriend go all the way across the country for months at a time just to make enough to support us. We speak with each other for 5 minutes a day, sometimes every other day. It always feels like we don't really have much to talk about other than our daily routines, and there isn't much to say either, not on my part, at least. My boyfriend is one of those manly-men who isn't very verbal and doesn't share his feelings much. I know both of us feel with unspoken words how it hurts to be apart like this. I'm just sadden by the fact that I am deeply missing his physical presence--times we spend together watching movies on TV and just having dinner without even muttering a single word. I'm more sadden to know that he feels he has no other choice but to take this route because he wants to better our lives.
However, the one thing he doesn't or doesn't want to realize is that his good intentions are hammering away at my self-esteem. But, I'll never express that sentiment to make him feel bad.

Yes, my life does suck. I'm grateful for my boyfriend as I love him dearly, but at the same time I feel as though he is better off alone or with someone else. For me, it's not a good feeling to live having to know that my own burden is rested upon someone's shoulders. I desperately want to start a family by having kids, but we both know that it can't happen soon, not without the financial support. The only thing I can do right now is to wait for jobs to call and to assure my boyfriend that he is loved and appreciated.


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Comments:
By Cursed at 31,Jul,12 13:59

Hey sister-
Keep your chin up. Long distance relationships suck, and it would get anyone depressed. Have you tried using Skype? That way you can see each other-
But a few words of wisdom from one gal to another- DO NOT LIVE YOUR LIFE AROUND SOMEONE ELSE. You will only be disappointed. Try to get yourself involved with projects (job hunting as well). Being unemployed, only makes you feel worse about yourself, so the sooner you find work, the better... Try to stay busy. Don't stress. Talk to your friends, family, a therapist if you can afford to-
Getting things off your chest- helps. Good luck sweetie, you can do it...
Cursed
By Please at 04,Aug,12 18:34

It's overwhelming.


By anonymous at 03,Aug,12 13:54

Keep your chin down, your boyfriend are fucking somebody else. So move on stupid bitch and stop your fucking whining. Make it up to him by jumping off a cliff.
By anonymous at 09,Aug,12 18:31

Someday life is gonna fuck you up for such a stupid ignorant comment. Your mother should have aborted you.
By anonymous at 10,Aug,12 14:10

You should be a $20 whore specializing in gang bangs and quickies bent over the kitchen table. That's the best you will ever amount to


By anonymous at 05,Aug,12 17:58

Ill pray for you. I know what its like to be unemployed for a long period. Its tough, but you gotta stay strong. I would suggest volunteering some place, its good to be active and put work in. Plus it looks good on a resume. You also have to go above and beyond when applying for a job. For example follow up a couple times, go into the /store/office/etc and ask to speak to the manager, be professional, and ask if their is a opening.

Don't rely on your boyfrind, he's your BOYFRIEND, not your HUSBAND. You gotta take care of yourself, God can help, but your boyfriend can only do so much, especially a long distance boyfriend.

I dont know your personal beliefs but ill go head and say from personal experiance jesus christ has helped me in many ways, he's given me a peace of mind like no other, got me through some difficult times, times of intense suffering, loneliness, you name it ive been there lol. But dont take my word for it, try going to God, ask him for help. It sounds quite cheesy what all these 'christians' say haha but i find it true more times than not."Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls" Matthew 11:29 jesus said that, and I believed it, and it is true in my life. I will also say that a church can be a great place when in time of need, you'll meet people who can help you, who are in similar situations as you (your story isn't a new one, your not alone)you can meet some great friends, who will actually be a true friend. A church may even provide you a job and a place to stay if neccessary. There are many good and willing people who would love to help and be in friendship with you, you just gotta look in the right places.

I believe you can come out of this difficult time, you need to have the right mindset right now.
I hope I said something that could be of help.

Regards,


By broken at 07,Aug,12 01:04

Stepping away from my usual post...

Your last paragraph is b u l l s h I t. You falling victim to a common problem where your 'feelings' are influencing your thoughts.

Google 'Cognitive Behavioural Therapy' and learn how to counter your emotional responses and stop devaluing yourself.


By kandi at 11,Aug,12 04:41

be lesbian....enjoy 69
By anonymous at 11,Aug,12 12:04

very abusive
when someone is discussing some serious problem
you have no right to post comments like this
By anonymous at 11,Aug,12 12:05 Fold Up

you must be a mixed breed


By Human Beings SUCK ASS at 12,Aug,12 18:06

Well, you can be patient about the job thing all you want, but it's not going to happen. I'm in the same predicament. I've been applying everyday, but to no avail. What you need to do is get friends. No matter how much the human race sucks, because we really do, find some friends. Then maybe one of them knows somebody who needs someone for a job.


By anonymous at 01,Sep,12 23:02

and my final comment to all you motherfuckers who harassed me is FUCK YOU ASSHOLES.


By anonymous at 05,Sep,12 00:07

Dear Father McNally we can talk here. Im the lonely guy . Tell me who you are and clarify what is true about you and what is not true. I have told you about me as a lonely disabled 44 year old working at a supermarket as a bagger and maintenance clerk. Ive been harassed by these horrible people on this website. They keep writing lies about me. Dont believe them.


By anonymous at 09,Jul,13 13:20

Been there, done that.

Let me tell you something. A hard cold fact which even i hated it myself.

As long as you depend on a HUMAN, you are guaranteed to be disappointed.

This has nothing to do with yr bf, family etc...they are nor bad or good. This is reality.

And no HUMAN may help you during time of crisis, and no problem can be solved without God's intervention.

I'm a muslim but i'm not pressuring you to convert etc as there is no force in my religion (and i think in other religions as well).

If you have a religious belief, turn to it. If you don't, find one that may answer all of yr life questions...which are originated from yr souls...not from our limited wit.

Trust me, more problems coming yr way, not just you, everyone. Are you going to resort to this forum everytime you encounter a problem?

I am struggling myself and who knows i might be experiencing similar problem soon, but i ain't scared for i know i don't have to solve everything by my own. I am an orphan at heart but i'm never alone. No matter how good/bad i am, i'm just a creation, my Creator knows better and He has and will figure all this mess. And yes He did.


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