LIFE SUCKS

Overload

I have a lot more than some people, but you know my feel. This story might be gross, which sucks.
My parents do drugs. My dad loves taking me places because of my good grades, which makes me feel horrible for being angry for them him doing drugs. My mom is obese and does drugs too. My parents are incredibly poor, but under the circumstances I can't earn money to eat. My dad spends tons of money on fun stuff, but never on food, or things that are necessary. My parents spend so much on their own addictions that we're dependent on my grandma to feed us. And her food sucks, which also makes me feel guilty. I have incredible trouble pooping. I always have to go at inconvenient times, so I end up getting poop on my underwear. Sometimes I poop in my sleep. I think I have upper-digestive tract bleeding. The rest of my family is Christian, but I'm Agnostic. My brother is a hobo and says he will kill my mother, and also blames her for his decisions. I lied to a guy on the Internet and said I was 15. He fell for me and had a stupid kid moment and told him where I live. My parents would flip. He would flip. So I lied and told him I moved to New Mexico. He still wants to come see me. I then lied a d said my parents found out about him and the page. He still want's to come see me. I've left the website we chatted on, but I return for a few seconds to retrieve his email. Even though hardly any people check their email these days. I have emailed a farewell letter and am waiting to see what happens. You may doubt his loyalty, but I know him, and he will come see me. I'm freaked out. My parents don't let me go outside unless they're taking me somewhere or I'm going to school. I'm ridiculously pale. My father used to have a friend. This friend killed his mother. This friend also hated the American flag. This friend pleaded insane, when, in fact he is not insane, and is just playing the cards right. My dad, like the dare devil he is, starts sending this friend cards for every holiday with the Amerian flag on it, and with only his my dad's name on it. One day my dad's cards get sent back. With no reply, but you could practically feel the hatred. This friend gets out in 2015, the same year the guy that fell in love with me is supposed to come. I get no pleasure from masturbation. I have horrible anxiety problems. My school friends don't understand my Japanese culture obsession. I'm eleven years old.