im 20 i have few freinds and they use me to there biding, ever since a grauated, o what the fuck let me go straight to the point im a complete loser still a virgen, people make fun of me, im always deppressed sad i just wanna crie almost every 2 to 3 days. ive thought about suicide but i just dont know what stops me from doing it. ive sufferd... bulieing, made fun off called retarded its so un berabol :(. ive only had 1 girl freind and she ws kind of slutty and i left her cause she was not ready for a realtionship. wow seeind other people soo happy with girlfreinds an life, makes me think "why was i brought to this world :'( i still have my family i thank god for that :) but what about me, dont we all have some happiness in our life, i just have not experienced it so far. wow i can go on all night. im ugly, i have a face that looks reatarted and cant change that and a voice thats retarded. tell me can a retarded type all of this and have an 80 overall average grade in high school.. no they cant. im fed up with my life. if something positive does not happen to me.. i just dont know what i will do. theres alot a can tell that would make you guys crie.... i havent even gottin starded. from this point what advise can you guys give me? and i also cant talk to girls im super shy. And please no making fun of me comments its not good right now :'( i just wish i could go back in time and change alot of things. theres alot i want to say, i regret most of the things ive done. you would not believe this, i was the buffes guy in school 5"8" 215pounds muscle and still no girl.. just that slutty girk i had and im still a virgen.