LIFE SUCKS

nothing is fair

my life has never been fair to me, its hard to know were to begin. I had a pretty good life i guess until i was about 4 when i was sexually abused by my baby sitter. The worst part about it was i didnt know what was going on or that is was even wrong so i never said anything. So i teqnically never got to loose my verginity. At the age of 6 my mother started to use heroin, but the whole thing is it wouldnt of happened if i didnt become friends with the girl down the hall, i never had friends really so when we became friends so did my mom and hers, her mom introduced my mom to this guy and he got her into heroin. I remember walking in on her the first time and she yelled at me and slammed the door in my face. my father was no better, he got into the same thing but my parents wernt together. then i remember walking in on my mom and this guy she was with and they were having sex i remember asking what they were doing and he said were having sex get the fuck out. this is all in the same year. the next year the ETF broke down the door and made me lay down on the floor with a gun in my face at 7 years old and the only thing i said was wheres my baby sister. my mom ended up moving so when me and my babysister went with her she would disapear for days at a time and i would have to take care of her by myself untill the CAS took us away and eventually seperated us and i didnt get to talk to her or even see her for 5 years out of all the things iv been through that was the hardest. and now i have 7 younger sisters and 2 of them i didnt even know untill recently. I got really angry with my life and started to do drugs myself and i had this boyfriend when i was 16 that gave me them and he was 21, but he started to beat me when I wouldnt have sex with him and i got really hurt one day and didnt go home for a week, i took off away from everybody and nobody even noticed i was gone. when i did go home i went in my room and started to cut myself and now i have scared that will never go away that constantly remind me of that shit. So next year i moved away, got really heavy into the drugs for a long time, but iv always known that i didnt want to be a drug addict its been my biggest fear to become like my parents, now im 22 i ddint finish school, my sister that got taken away from me is only 16 and shes addicted to oxys and she sells her body and theirs nothing i can do about it that i havnt already tried. the police could only do so much the CAS could only do so much and now they dont even care. so im stuck in this miserable life with nothing to my name but yet i can still find happiness on my best days. I want to dedicate my life to saving and helping animals because what humans do to them they cant control and i can relate. i have a huge heart and i see the world for what it really is. anyways im probably not going to go anywhere in life because that would be a good thing. but i know if i was given the chance i could change the world.