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i hate life but it could be worse

Posted by anonymous at June 27, 2012
Tags: 2012 June

I'm 15 years old.My life wasn't so bad when i was younger, but is horrible now. My mother is going through a divorce with my father. FIrst of all she actually left my father who used to abuse us all the time, just to make up with him again.Then she realised she wanted to leave him again.My life is like a rollercoaster. As soon as i get some sort of hope it turns into deep despair.At present she doesnt even want to continue with her divorce so i am stuck in a run down neighbourhood and i want to move back to my old home but i can't. I keep telling her to start, that i will help her with some things but half of the year is gone and she has not started yet while my father is out there having a good time womanizing and having a great life without us. I just want to move on. Is that so hard to ask? I have friends but i feel if i tell them they would stop talking to me. I have been recently diagnosed with mild OCD and am going mad with it. I used to be such a good student when i was younger, always beating everyone and coming first, now my grades are slipping and my mother doesn't even care. She works all day and when she comes home and i ask her about the divorce, she lashes out at me, telling me she pays the bills in the house and she is tired and when she gets to it, she'll get to it.The only close person i have is my sister and i thank god for that. She talks to me when i am depressed and makes me feel a little better about myself but she is hardly around. Oh yes and i'm grossly obese. I am on the borderline for diabeties and other diseases. When im stressed i eat anything in sight. My father also thinks that buying games and electronics for me will compensate for the 12 years that he was almost absent from my life. he's a 'so called' recovering alcoholic but drank just about a month ago.I do not hate my mother as she too has been emotionally and mentally abused by my father. I just wish she would continue with her divorce so my life would be moving again as we live in a crappy house which we rent.My sister has given up on my mother because she faced a similar situation when she was younger too. oh yes, and we both have different fathers because my mother married twice to two different men and is now divorced twice.Even though she is divorced, she still needs to go through the property settlement which she does not want to.Even though things are bleak, there are some people who are worse-off than me and i thank god i am not in a worse predicament than the one i am in now. The only things i should focus on now is losing the weight and maybe ill feel a little better about myself and pray a lot as god is the only one who can give me the courage to wake up everyday and face life.I feel much better now that i have relieved some stress by typing this.To all those who are going through bad things in their life, pray to god and say to yourself 'i am a strong person and i will not give up and i'll handle anything life throws at me.'The most important thing is to keep calm and don't do anything you'll regret and know that there is always someone who loves you, though you may not know it.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
Hate's self August 1, 2010
Life sucks, and seems to be getting worse  March 18, 2012
Hate my FUCKING life October 8, 2011
does it get better? January 24, 2012
Secrets I've kept January 18, 2012



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Comments:
By anonymous at 11,Dec,12 04:00

I used to be in a similar situation. Here's what you do. Stop needling your mother about the divorce. Likely it is always on her mind anyway, so you bringing it up doesn't help her stress. Diet and exercise is an excellent idea. It sounds like you don't really need your dads attention so if I were you I would ask for money instead of electronics. That way you can spend his money on bills and help out your mom. At some point you will turn 16 so you should get a job and try to make friends. I would recommend a mall you meet a lot of people. Also check with your school counselors about counseling and therapy opportunities so you have more outlets than just your sister


By anonymous at 11,Dec,12 10:31

i use to but what hurts the most is them leaving each other


By matzcrorkz at 06,Aug,14 00:37

F8Hyth Thanks a lot for the article post. Great.


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