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D5 drugs disappointment depression divorce disgust

Posted by jennyfromtheblock at June 29, 2012
Tags: 2012 June

Drugs have caused the ultimate ruin of my life. but long before they came along i was miserable , afflicted with terrible low self esteem validated by my peers through out school into college...i am too trusting and nice everyone takes advantage of me. i can't stand up for myself and that lead to my first failed marriage a husband who beat me everyday and told me how stuipid i was and disgusting...marriage number 2 got me a lazy slacker who stole everything i had , my home my credit my job and introduced me to drugs which stole my soul...i lost my career and ended up in rehab meeting a guy who stole every last bit of anything financially , spirtuially and any hope i had left...i have no friends because i just let eveyone walk all over me and am always sad no body want to be around me. i have to call a suicide hotline just to talk to someone alive. my family is disgusted with my drug use and that has driven them away. I have nobody and nothing. i can barely make myself shower i'm so sad and strung out. i feel disgusting and un lovable and that i will never be anything...my ship has sailed theres no hope for me, my career is ruined i have just lies holding me up all of which are about to unfold. i hate myself and have never learned to not be scared of being alone and that has lead me to settle for crappy friends and men. i 'lll never get it im just a lost cause. i don't wash or brush my teeth i donot care anymore i don't like anything in life i just am miserable. nothing tastes good nothing feels good nothing looks good. its fucking awful to be me. i am full of regret and resentment to others and myself.


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New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 01,Dec,12 18:53

Insert a giant dildo in both holes
By ME at 07,Dec,12 08:04

Would love to cave your head in worthless bitch
By anonymous at 09,Dec,12 17:04

What was that faggot? I can't hear you with the sound of your hag of a mother hovering my cock down her dirty throat ( btw your mama's coach has roaches)


By anonymous at 02,Dec,12 17:13

You don't brush your teeth or bathe? You must be a real lovely person to be around. Are you English by any chance?
By me you bitch at 07,Dec,12 08:07

You sure are piece of shit....are you an american? Probably...most americans are worthless fucking idiots like you.
By anonymous at 09,Dec,12 17:06

So you are an English twat then? Big surprise ( I bet your teeth look like shit after decades of Cadbury chocolate and fish and chips)


By ME at 07,Dec,12 08:15

Call on jesus sweetheart... he will help....I promise. He allows the monsters small opening to reveal their hearts...hopefully so they will cry out to him for help and change. But if not they will suffer the most...read 1 corinthians 1:26-31 then you will know who yu really are.....love you
By anonymous at 09,Dec,12 17:06

You love to be gang raped


By anonymous at 16,Dec,12 10:54

Ignore the assholes on this site. For some reason they get off on being mean, it probably distracts them from their own problems. You can get on a new ship, btw. You are not a lost cause; there is still hope. Please consider going back to rehab. You deserve a chance to get your shit together and it will be easier to do that if you can get off of the drugs. There are rehabs keep the genders apart, so if you have trouble with substituting drugs with men, that might be a good idea. They also have rehab programs that specialize in dual diagnose I think? These work to help with the substance abuse, but also underlying mental health conditions, like depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc.Good luck and please give yourself another chance at life, you deserve it:-)


By anonymous at 27,Jan,13 22:13

The day you really quit the drugs will be the day that life starts to make sense. Drugs are really bad for a person trying to get their mind together (it takes the sane mind into a drift out to the sea of insanity, and only abstinance will get it back to shore). I say this from experience - clean for almost a year after "escaping" reality for over 30 years, since I was 16!

Step 1. Call a family member and tell them that you really want to quit this time, and see if they can give you regular moral support.
Step 2. Leave ALL that pulls you to addiction - unhealthy relationships, friendships, "friends" that call to party, etc. Change your mobile number and give it to only people that don't do drugs or alcohol.
Step 3. Realize that you are not old - Colonal Sanders became a millionaire in his 60's by making friggin chicken - you are not ever over the hill or all washed up (unless you waste the rest of your life saying you are and doing drugs and alcohol).
Step 4. When you feel yourself slipping, realize that we all have bad days, and remember the importance of staying clean.
You are beautiful and have a lot to look forward to, but only if you decide to do what is required.
Hang in there, please. I've been there - you will wonder why you didn't change your attitude a long time ago after you see how incredible life is clean.


By Cammie at 15,May,17 01:39

Beautiful, Robin. Thank you for sharing your letter. You had me a bit emotional with your densciptiosr, too.My boys wanted a baby sister too, and she eventually came. Of course, we also would have been happy with another boy. I do think little kids are more tuned in than we are though. So you never know!


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