All my life I have been of a somewhat good kid. I never did drugs, I've never had teen sex, and when my siblings needed my help I was there. Now that I'm eighteen and a new adult, I've gotten to know the real truth of what people thing of me. A lot of my family members don't think I'm gonna be anything in life. And they're right. I have no car, no job, no boyfriend, and can't think of anything to do. I've joined the army and asked my older sister to believe in me and she told me,"How can I believe in someone as unreliable as you?" It hurt me to hear that, but it's true. I've never did anything for myself. My whole life I've been like a babysitter for people and my dad has always sheltered me from real life like actually getting a job or needing to go to places to get stuff for myself. I've never been totally independent and I'm scared. I feel like if this army thing doesn't work then people wouldn't even question my existence giving me a reason to kill myself. I want to matter, but so much doubt floats around my everyday life. My older sister telling me everyday that I'm gonna live a VERY hard life. People thinking I won't make it in the army. My own mom denies me and my dad thinks I'm so stupid. I want to make it for my younger siblings. And show people that my life won't suck.