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the curse of disease

Posted by angry man at July 3, 2012
Tags: Jul2012

My poor father had a host of health problems from age 36 to his death at age 79. When I was just a baby he had a bout with kidney stone and contracted dengue fever before I was born. In 1981 my poor father had his first near fatal heart attack. At least two months in the hospital. In 1985; 1991; 1992; 1998; 2001; 2005; 2010; and 2011 more sickness and trips to the hospital. Between 1982 to 1995 he suffered from severe toothache. In 2001 he had agonizing pain from hernia. I don't know how many anginas he had in the last 30 years of his life. In 2010 a stroke took away part of his memory and took away 90 percent of his speech. His speech was mostly gibberish and it was nearly impossible to communicate with eachother. And more trips to the hospital. In the last days of his life in 2011 a hospital bed and nurses aids were bought to our house. Diapers were needed. The body was shutting down. He was slowly suffocating from heart failure and also developed a rash. The last two months of his life was especially torture. On and off he would yell and groan twist turn and writhe in bed. Pure hell. Its a fucking horror. After he died we had to make funeral arrangements. Coffins urns cemeteries that kind of shit. And another distressing thing is in deciding whether to bury or to cremate. They're both HORRIBLE. Either way we're screwed.Its like being in a fucking horror movie.Nightmarish. Where is the so called loving merciful God in all this? My whole family went through days weeks and months of shit and we have a God who allows it. This is disgusting. Unimaginably cruel is this God or this God is blind and irrational for allowing these horrors. Not visually blind but mentally blind and morally blind. Or this God is just not in control of what's going on in the world. A deficient God is what we have so evil sin suffering and death abounds in the world and the Devil can get away with murder. Heart disease and stroke runs in my family and a beloved aunt in California died from cancer. I also fear aneurysm where a blood vessel bursts causing horrific pain and can be as lethal as a gunshot blast.In some cases of aneurysm the victim not only bleeds internally but also bleeds externally. Blood may come out of the victims mouth or nose. Its cruel disgusting and sick. Its a CRIME which nature inflicts on its creatures. Nature has an infinite number of scourges to torture and kill man and beast. My father has a history of physical suffering AND he also suffered mentally from frustration aggravation anger and in his later years depression. Its excessive for one person to be afflicted with this degree of suffering. Cruelty rules this world not a loving God. It makes my blood boil in anger. What a fucked up Devilish world this is. We must have been put on this earth to suffer as one of the reasons of existence. Its disgraceful and deplorable. Its like a fucking horror novel. A shithole and a hellhole is this world. I have a right to be angry.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
Everything June 3, 2012
What do i have to live for? August 2, 2011
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Oh LOrdy, lordy- look what happens when you're 40! May 24, 2012
what is the point December 14, 2010



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Comments:
By anonymous at 10,Mar,13 21:14

ur mad at God because people die when if you read your bible you'd see God and death aren't friends and God will destroy death itself (read revelations)

you are deluded trying to make God out to be your enemy.. get a life i have no pity for you

i will never understand why people blame God for things and never say anything about satan or demons at all.. like you acknowledge that you believe in these forces on some level but you just CHOOSE to blame the God who created you and who loves you and let satan who hates you off the hook

i'm not saying YOU are dumb but that thought process is dumb.
By anonymous at 13,Mar,13 16:07

I dont think the post wants your pity and he doesnt need your pity. I have followed the posts writings and in case you're not aware he is not letting Satan and demons off the hook. The post has written countless times that Satan or the Devil rules this world. I think what he means by this is that God either allows the Devil to cause evil or God isnt in control of His creation. If you read all of the posts writings as I have then you would know this. You want to point out the Bible? I can do that too. If you read your Bible objectively you would see that God is very much to blame for death disease and evil. God created all things according to the Bible remember? That means God created diseases and God cursed everyone with death because Adam and Eve ate a forbidden fruit. He refused to forgive Adam and Eve. Yeah thats real loving of your God. As in not. If you read the Bible objectively both God and Satan are responsible for the sorry mess the world is in. You say God didnt cause death according to the Bible? Then you dont know how to read or you have been indoctrinated and brainwashed. From what I have been reading in the Bible God has alot to do with death and killing and disease. I hope that God is innocent and its just Satan and demons who are to blame but that still leaves an unanswered question. Why is your God allowing Satan and demons to cause all this evil cruelty and havoc? The post repeatedly points this out in his other writings. By the way you reveal yourself to be a cruel person and a cruel Christian. You give Christians a bad name. Dude if you have nothing supportive to say then just buzz off. Im sure the post is disgusted with you.


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By Lonely guy at 04,Jan,17 14:42

As the lonely guy/bagger/maintenance man who wrote this post in 212, more tragedy has happened since then. I also lost my beloeved mother from a stroke in 2015. I cried for six weeks. The pain is still there almost two years later. I went through intense mental torment and mental anguish. It felt like the mental equivalent of being stabbed through the heart. The grief and sadness I feel is indescribable. My poor beloved mother suffered for years from migraine, one stroke in 2009, and a second stroke in 2015 which ended her life. Im all alone in the house which is badly decaying and falling apart with vermin, mold, and mildew everywhere I look. The world is a hellhole and horror movie. I live in endless grief, sadness, depression, mental torment, and fear.


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