My mother is terminally ill of cancer. I quit my high paying corporate plush job to come home to take care of a dragon lady. My mothers so mean I haven't seen my fater or sister in the better part of 15 yrs. she drives away anyone close to her including friends. Not only do I deal with the constant nagging, the barking of orders, and dictionary of curse words that spill put of her mouth daily, I must cook every meal she eats (super picky won't let the sitter cook) change her diaper and clothes twice daily because the ovarian cancer disrupts her urine flow which in turn voids all control. She empties her bladder constantly. Sometimes when she deficates she misses the toilet. Her constant soiling of her self results in me changing her sheets, and doing laundry everyday. She's completely ungrateful and says I'm trying to kill her and says she's going to report me to social services everyday. This I believe is due to the hallucinations from the extremely potent narcotics she taking for pain control. She's completely controlling and demanding. I have no life, and I support her wholey, financially and emotionally. This isn't the worst part. She's my only family and literally everyhing I love. I get the privilege of watching her decay to nothing. Every waking moment of her life is filled with unimaginable agony. She went from being a proud independent and ridiculously strong woman to sniveling petty fear-filled shadow of a person. I've seen her overcome the most difficult obstacles and now she is being completely devastated by her life's greatest challenge. Her entire life she struggled to survive and it is no different in death. No rest not even in the end. I don't know what's worse the non stop pain riddled tears or the pleas to a deaf God she utters every five seconds begging for salvation or at least an end to the pain. She askes me save her all the time and only response I have is the despair racked silence we share knowing that the best and only way out is the finality of death. Fuck the world it can suck my cock.