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Well fuck

Posted by anonymous at July 5, 2012
Tags: Jul2012

Well here we go, looking over you all comment on each others sad stories I figured I'd add my own. This is probably the closest I have come to caring in quite some time. I look at your stories and I see kids, work, plus 100k a year, home, so on and so fucking forth. Um hello, if I had even half of one those I'd be jumping for Fuckig joy. But I'm not, and I don't. I'm actually in an insane amount of debt, but no one knows, and by no one I mean the 3 people I talk to, including my mother, step father and person I drive to work. U know what I do for work? I sit in a corner and build boxes. Yes boxes, for 11$ an hour. 8 hours a day, 6 days a week. And for what? So I can stuff my face with mcshits and sneak cigars when no one is paying any attention. Today I received a few texts, mostly from mother, asking where a bank is, and I'f I cam take her, so she can brin in her rolled pennies to buy smokes, even though she is suppose to die soon, as she sits back and pops her pain meds and tells me she wants to kill herself becuase I was born, grantor she doesn't do it daily anymore, she still enjoys telling me time from Time. A year and. Half ago I was happy, weighing in at 107-110. Now 130 I can't stand to look in a mirror, I eat becuase I'm unhappy, I'm unhappy when I eat, I drink when unhappy, I have a addication to exlax stupid I know. I dream of marriage, knowing it will never happen, I dream of kids, who will never love me. and when dad dies there is no one to tell me. I dont want to be another person who kills them self, not a day goes by I don't pray that I get cancer, or hit by a bus. I have a boyfriend, we met on line, he's a sex addict, and we only have sex when he's drunk. He says it's nt me, but I know it is. How couldn't it be? Every day I lie about how my day was, or fabricate what happened to pretend my life is a bit more exciting. I have an eating disorder. It's cronic, but isn't at the same time. I can starve myself, but only for a few days with long periods of time in-between, if I'm depressed I will Purge, but not binge, there is a differce. Them there is exlax, I can eat unto 25 pieces a night, but I can only do it for about two weeks, before my ulsers open up, then I have to stop. I can only do it every once and after that I can't be reguar for atleast 3 months. But in that 2 weeks I can lose upto 10 pounds. It's crazy hard to hide tho, and very embarrassing in public. But it's worth it. Ibhave been doing this since I was 13. I don't know what else's to say, but I have so much. What do u want to know?


Votes:


Similar Entries:
a rant July 5, 2011
life aint beautiful April 24, 2012
Complain October 2, 2011
FUCKING LONELY March 16, 2012
Hatred March 30, 2011



New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 21,Feb,13 23:14

This is one of the saddest tales I've read on here. My life sucks as well, but your is worse. Condolences.


By anonymous at 02,Mar,13 23:22

If i could, i would go to your house and we could watch tv and eat pizza all night, but i can't, so you have to be good, alright?
Life sucks, but we have to deal with it.
Good luck.


By anonymous at 10,Mar,13 00:36

wow that is terrible

you need prayer, and i'm not joking or being condescending i'm serious this sounds like a real bummer life and its not even your life- its you, and that's what makes your story worse than a lot of these

i'm not dissing you i'm just saying i hope you can get help and also move out of ur mom's house cuz it appears toxic
By anonymous at 05,May,13 14:43

prayer??? They do not work and that is a fact.


By anonymous at 29,Apr,13 15:30

130 lbs isnt that bad, my gf is 122 and shes only 5 ft tall. Just work out and go Hiking and stuff, its great to lift your mood


By joielechong at 23,May,13 09:24

When you believe, prayer will always work. :)


By smashing top seo at 23,Oct,13 17:43

FSMIxu I cannot thank you enough for the post. Really Great.


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