Well here we go, looking over you all comment on each others sad stories I figured I'd add my own. This is probably the closest I have come to caring in quite some time. I look at your stories and I see kids, work, plus 100k a year, home, so on and so fucking forth. Um hello, if I had even half of one those I'd be jumping for Fuckig joy. But I'm not, and I don't. I'm actually in an insane amount of debt, but no one knows, and by no one I mean the 3 people I talk to, including my mother, step father and person I drive to work. U know what I do for work? I sit in a corner and build boxes. Yes boxes, for 11$ an hour. 8 hours a day, 6 days a week. And for what? So I can stuff my face with mcshits and sneak cigars when no one is paying any attention. Today I received a few texts, mostly from mother, asking where a bank is, and I'f I cam take her, so she can brin in her rolled pennies to buy smokes, even though she is suppose to die soon, as she sits back and pops her pain meds and tells me she wants to kill herself becuase I was born, grantor she doesn't do it daily anymore, she still enjoys telling me time from Time. A year and. Half ago I was happy, weighing in at 107-110. Now 130 I can't stand to look in a mirror, I eat becuase I'm unhappy, I'm unhappy when I eat, I drink when unhappy, I have a addication to exlax stupid I know. I dream of marriage, knowing it will never happen, I dream of kids, who will never love me. and when dad dies there is no one to tell me. I dont want to be another person who kills them self, not a day goes by I don't pray that I get cancer, or hit by a bus. I have a boyfriend, we met on line, he's a sex addict, and we only have sex when he's drunk. He says it's nt me, but I know it is. How couldn't it be? Every day I lie about how my day was, or fabricate what happened to pretend my life is a bit more exciting. I have an eating disorder. It's cronic, but isn't at the same time. I can starve myself, but only for a few days with long periods of time in-between, if I'm depressed I will Purge, but not binge, there is a differce. Them there is exlax, I can eat unto 25 pieces a night, but I can only do it for about two weeks, before my ulsers open up, then I have to stop. I can only do it every once and after that I can't be reguar for atleast 3 months. But in that 2 weeks I can lose upto 10 pounds. It's crazy hard to hide tho, and very embarrassing in public. But it's worth it. Ibhave been doing this since I was 13. I don't know what else's to say, but I have so much. What do u want to know?