Stop Anxiety
and panic attacks

Save Your Relationship
No Matter How Bad
Your Situation Appears

How to overcome
your powerty demons

Get Paid For
Using Social Sites!

LIFE SUCKS

Stories submitted by real people.

[Tell Your Story]

Categories:

Abuse  Addictions  Alcohol  Anger  Anxiety  Appearance  Attitude  Bad Luck  Childhood  Crime  Death  Disappointment  Drinking  Drugs  Environment  Failure  Family  Friendship  General  Health  Independent circumstances  Job  Justice  Juvenile problems  Life Story  Loneliness  Meaninglessness  Mistakes  Money  Philosophical  Poverty  Prank  Racial  Relationship  Religion  Reputation  School  Sexuality  Society  Sociopathy  Stepdad  Stepmom  Stress  Tragic Events  Unemployment  Violence  


Archive by Month:
July 2012
2012 June
2012 May
2012 April
2012 March
2012 February
2012 January
2011 December
2011 November
2011 October
2011 September
2011 August
2011 July
2011 June
2011 May
2011 April
2011 March
2011 February
2011 January
2010 December
2010 November
2010 October
2010 September
2010 August
2010 July
2010 June
2010 May
2010 April
2010 March
2010 February
January 2010
December 2009
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
January 2009
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
May 2008
February 2008
January 2008


Ads:

Shitty life

Posted by anonymous at July 11, 2012
Tags: July 2012

Let me tell you guys my story now. I'm male, 16. I was born in a small city in Brazil. I'm not poor. I'm from an upper-mid-class family. Then I moved to the capital of my district, which is quite big, when I was 4. I started going to school normally and made some new friends.

One day, when i was going back from school, the father of my best friend bought me an ice cream and invited me to go to his house, so we could play video-games and these things. So i did it - went to my friend's house and it was a lovely afternoon. We ate candies, played PS1... it was perfect. I couldn't be happier. Then this started to get frequent. And my friend's dad sometimes did massage at me and my other friends too that came by his house. But with me it was differente. Everytime he did this massage in me was kind of erotic, and he put hands at my genitals and these things.

I was a small kid at that time with like 6 or 7 years old. I had a notion about what was sex already, but still couldn't understand all that. Then things started to get more serious and he was REALLY abusing myself (not just touching but blowjob etc), almost every weekend.

I didn't tell this to anyone. I kept it to myself, and to be honest, I liked it. This is the part where everyone is gonna judge me for it. You don't know what was to be in the same place as me, and i thought it was normal. I really did thought it was normal these kinds of things happening to me.

This kept going for more 6 years. I was 12. I didn't know about my sex orientation and I was really confused. Sometimes I liked girls, but most of the time i liked boys. I had two best friends - one of them was the son of the guy that abused me for all these years - we were like three mosquetiers, always together, no matter what. One day I decided to tell them i liked boys too. From that day on everything was different. They simply stopped hanging out with me and started ignoring me. At that same time my parents broke up, and they always put me in the middle of the fights. ALWAYS. It was a terrible break up, my world was totally falling to pieces.

I didn't know who I was anymore. I was changing, my body was changing, my lifestyle was changing, my economic status was changing due to my parents break up, everything was different. In the same year my mom had breast cancer, and she was at the bottom of the hill. She was inbetween life and death, and my dad kept doing shit to her, telling her horrible things. My brother was starting to be a druggie, and gave us a lot of problems. I saw everything happen and I simply couldn't do anything.

Time passed and this freaky shit too. My mom cured from her cancer, my brother is better - althought didn't stop smoking weed - my dad is now engaged and everyone made their life go on. The problem is that after it I could never heal from the ill that this phase caused to me. I'm depressed, anxious all the time, and suffer from a thing called derealization. It's like everything you see is a dream, like if the way you see the world is a dream. These things are so frightening, sometimes i don't know how i can get throught it everyday.

I still don't know my sexual orientation. I hook up with boys and girls, but from like 6 months ago till now i don't feel attracted to any sex. I've completely lost my emotions for anyone. I don't miss anyone, don't hate anyone, don't love anyone. My grandma died last year and everyone from my family cried. I was the only one who didn't, which made me feel kind of ashamed.

I generally hate everything about myself. I hate every act I do. I hate my face, my hair, my body, the way I talk, the way I walk. I hate everything. The only thing about myself that I'm still proud is that even with all the problems I went through, I've never let that affect my studies. I've always did great at school, no matter what - without much effort. I easily learn things. I've never done any english course or anything like that, everything I learned about english I learned only watching movies, listening to music and these shit. My english spelling is the best I've seen, compared to brazilian people. If you didn't know i was brazilian and i had talked to you personally, you would never guess that I'm not american.

Anyway, I still have financial problems and I'm worried all the time. Life goes by and I don't feel a bit like living anymore. Everything has lost sense. I miss the days I was younger, full of hope and perspectives. Now It's just pain. I'm writing this crying because I've had a terrible night. My days on this shit called Earth are counted. Soon I will be gone and people from my family will learn how to live without me. Suicide is my only way out of this hell-hole. If you have passed through many problems either, I hope you are stronger then me and find a way to deal with them, cause i can't do it no longer.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
untitled story December 30, 2011
Mess of a Life May 28, 2012
Loneliness May 28, 2012
Life is so shitty I f*cked up bad. September 22, 2009
My life suck hardcore October 29, 2011



New Comment

Comments:
By viagra generika aus holland at 28,Dec,19 21:15

viagra bei bluthochdruck
cialis generika 5mg
original cialis günstig kaufen


By cialis generika in deutschland k at 29,Dec,19 06:16

viagra apotheke kaufen
cialis bei bluthochdruck
cialis nedir


By holland viagra at 29,Dec,19 15:12

viagra ohne rezept
cialis generika ratiopharm
cialis anwendung


By wirkung viagra at 29,Dec,19 23:52

levitra oder cialis
cialis 20mg 4 stück
cialis mit rezept preis


By preise für viagra in deutschland at 30,Dec,19 17:55

cialis patentschutz ende
cialis once a day
cialis 5mg 84 stück


By natürliches viagra at 31,Dec,19 02:38

cialis online kaufen ohne rezept
cialis rezeptfreie
viagra kaufen deutschland paypal


By holland viagra at 31,Dec,19 11:48

cialis generika kaufen rezeptfrei bestellen
cialis dosierung 40 mg
vergleich viagra cialis levitra


By wirkung viagra at 31,Dec,19 20:40

cialis wirkung
viagra erfahrungsberichte frau
generika cialis


By nebenwirkungen viagra at 01,Jan,20 05:28

wo viagra kaufen
cialis 20mg 12 stück reimport
viagra für frauen


By cialis preis at 01,Jan,20 14:39

dr ed cialis
viagra online apotheke
preisvergleich cialis


By viagra ohne rezept aus deutschla at 01,Jan,20 23:46

erfahrung mit viagra
viagra ersatz legal
nebenwirkungen cialis


By viagra ohne rezept auf rechnung at 02,Jan,20 08:40

cialis 40mg
viagra nebenwirkungen alkohol
cialis generika kaufen rezeptfrei bestellen


By cialis kaufen at 03,Jan,20 04:39

cialis pills
dosierung viagra
viagra ersatz rezeptfrei


By female viagra at 03,Jan,20 14:32

wirkstoff cialis
cialis potenzmittel
cialis 5mg kaufen rezeptfrei


By viagra frauen at 04,Jan,20 09:28

cialis 20mg preise apotheke
unterschied cialis original und generika
wann läuft patent für cialis aus


By cialis generika in deutschland k at 04,Jan,20 18:53

jelly viagra
wo viagra kaufen
cialis 5mg täglich erfahrungen


By alternative viagra at 05,Jan,20 03:38

cialis langzeitschäden
viagra kaufen dm
viagra online bestellen


By cialis generika in deutschland k at 05,Jan,20 13:22

preis cialis 20mg
viagra und alkohol
viagra bestellen


By wirkung viagra at 05,Jan,20 22:35

viagra ramipril
tadalafil cialis
viagra und cialis kombinieren


By viagra kaufen at 06,Jan,20 07:39

viagra vorzeitiger samenerguss
viagra 50 mg erfahrung
apotheke 4 all cialis


By female viagra at 06,Jan,20 17:12

viagra nebenwirkungen herz
cialis kaufen deutschland
cialis generika per nachnahme bestellen


By viagra polen at 07,Jan,20 02:42

cialis lilly 20mg preisvergleich
dred viagra
viagra preise


By viagra bestellen at 07,Jan,20 12:16

viagra kopen
cialis ohne rezept bestellen
cialis 5 mg auf kassenrezept


By viagra berlin at 08,Jan,20 06:56

cialis 5mg rezeptfrei
viagra gel
cialis auf rechnung


By MiguelBes at 27,Feb,20 17:55

You said this exceptionally well!


By MiguelBes at 28,Feb,20 05:07

Many thanks, Numerous postings!


By MiguelBes at 28,Feb,20 12:57

With thanks. Numerous data.


By anonymous at 29,Feb,20 05:06

it's too late to say anything.i don't know whether you have already left this world,if it is ,i hope your life would be happier in the other world.if it's not,please,hold on .life can be worse or better,it is you who can change yourselves.i love you.


By washington dc cbd at 28,Sep,20 14:59

lPKRpb Useful information. Fortunate me I discovered your website accidentally, and I am surprised why this twist of fate did not took place in advance! I bookmarked it.


By washington dc cbd at 28,Sep,20 17:07

Q6ccFC Woh I enjoy your content , saved to bookmarks!


New Comment