Hey. I've been facing this problem for a long time now. I try and try to put it to the back of my head because its so negative. I'm 26 years old and I still live at home with my parents. I don't choose to, but I don't make enough money to move out. All my money goes to helping them with bills because they are hurting themselves, my Dad has been screwing over his money at time. My mom and I have talks about it, but I'm not going to not help her because my dad is not doing what he's supposed to. This isn't about him though. I don't have a car and often have to borrow my dad's truck to get to work, or get dropped off by my parents. I look at some of my other friends, one stays with his brother and his girlfriend, another one stays with his sister and her husband, one joined the air force lived on her own for a minute and now has moved in with her friends. I went to college and got a 4 year Computer Science degree but could not find a job the entire first year after I graduated. I worked a few temp services and I got a job as s security officer. I've been working there for about 8 months now and I got a raise, and now I make $9.25 and hour. I don't live at home by choice, I just can't do anything right now. I have a college loan I have to pay off, the money I make from work goes to helping my parents with rent, light bill, and putting gas in their vehicles and buying groceries. After this I don't have any money left unless I put away money from other checks. I see people who are younger than me working jobs like myself living on their own with cars and still having time to go out and have a social life. I've been living with this feeling for years and it's become so strong that I often cry or wonder what I'm doing wrong. I pray and pray for God to ease this hole in my chest so I can just get through another day. I have nothing to my name really so I never considered dating a girl. Why would she want someone like me? I'm a nice guy, I've been told by several girls, I make them laugh and often times they flirt. But realistically who would date someone in my position? Recently I've been talking to this new girl at work, she's nice, smart, really pretty and lives on her own with her own car, and she's 24. I think if she has the same job as me, how can she afford to live on her own with a nice car? What am I doing wrong? I don't spend my money on dumb things, everything goes towards a bill or something I need. I told her the other day that I thought she was cute, and she told me that I should tell her that more often, that I shouldn't be shy, that next time I shouldn't hesitate to say it. That made me happy for a split second, like a cloud had been lifted from my shoulders, but today it came back. Before I left work she came in smiling, looking even more beautiful that yesterday, and I just said "hi", asked her how she was doing and left work. How could a girl like her possibly be interested in a guy like me? On paper I live at home, that makes me immature in society, and I don't have a car, which means I'm not worth it. These ideas are consuming me and I hate it, it feels like the reality of the situation is just too much. I would feel better if I had my own car but with me being in the hole every paycheck I can't think of a way out. | |
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