Well lets see...
Last year, when I was 14, my (now ex) boyfriend sexually harassed me. HE would shove his hands (and finger) places where I didn't want them and wouldn't let me resist. Then when I broke up with him he made my life hell by blaming me for his depression and how he waqs suicidal.
Then another guy decided he'd tell me about how he was suicidal and also blamed me.
I started cutting myself In January. And since last August I have had an eating disorder where I only eat dinner and throw it up straight after.
I havn't told anyone any of this before.
I get called good looking by guys ad some girls, but to myself I see a fat ugly biyatch.
Up until this year I have always been the nerdy straight-A chick. Now my teachers tell me I dont put any effort in, am not enthusuastic, need to improve. No one gets that I don't give a f***! I have other stuff going on in my life and I'm still decently passing so why bother?
My family have tight as rules and I'm not allowed out after 6pm unless I'm with friends and supervised by an adult my parents know. Im 15 for gods sake I think I can look after myself.
I don't know why I'm so f***ed up thats why I almost want to be raped or something to have an excuse.
I can't see myself living after high school unless I become a cop. My parents don't want me to become a cop because I 'am too smart for that.' They don;t get that I can do what I want.
I would kill myself, but I don't wanna die fat. 99lb is too fat.