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I pray I won't wake up

Posted by mary at February 14, 2013
Tags: Feb2013

I am 54, obese woman who goes to bed at night hoping I won't wake up. I think about killing myself all the time but have a family and wouldn't want them to suffer. I have been depressed for as long as I can remember. I have been in therapy for the majority of my life and have tried most anti depressants with no success. My youngest son has stolen most of my deceasts mothers cherished jewelry and it has broken my already broken heart. When I was younger I felt there was hope that things would change and I would overcome my depression. I now know that some people are too damaged to change. I have spent my whole life feeling bad and the idea of having to spend the rest of my life like this is unbearable and yet that is my fate... Unless I die in my sleep!


New Comment

By broken at 22,Jul,13 06:51

Is it true. Do fat chicks need lovin too?
By anonymous at 24,Jul,13 10:09

only GBCS mom!!!!!!!!

By Weight Watchers at 04,Aug,13 14:13

Join us, have company. We all go out, to all you can eat buffets, after our meetings. We love food and are pigs. Join now, enjoy pigging out twice a week.

By anonymous at 11,Aug,13 12:16

Lets be friends ... You are me ....

By anonymous at 15,Aug,13 14:49

You guys (with childishly sarcastic remarks) are are seriously f* up! Is it really necessary to beat on someone who is already down?? You do not need to bring anyone up, or offer words of encouragements...however, have some decency and at least leave the person alone in their misery without adding to it. Goodness sake, she is a stranger to you-just like you are all strangers to me. I am extremely depressed myself, and i am on here to see what situations others are in-not to make them feel worse nor better, but to hopefully make myself feel better, which I know is selfish in and of itself...but I won't degrade another human being just to make myself feel better. It's a hard enough place emotionally and mentally, and I would appreciate some respect for others as well as yourself.

Would you say the same words if she was standing in front of you? For those who claims yes, would you still say them, if there was someone attractive within earshot?

I doubt it, because you wouldn't want to tarnish your character.

By anonymous at 19,Aug,13 14:50

Are u a queer, or a bitch?

By negro jim at 28,Aug,13 17:09

Allz yous white crackas is racist mo fuckas!

By anonymous at 07,Sep,13 06:46

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28

By anonymous at 14,Sep,13 11:15

My ballz itch, GBCS, where are you? I need realese!

By anonymous at 16,Sep,13 16:14

I like to have sex with Turkish cats. I rub my balls with mayonnaise. Thank you, have a good day.
By anonymous at 18,Sep,13 05:56

oh my god what the actual fuck?

By anonymous at 17,Sep,13 13:27

Bubba in the mid cities takes showers with his toothles mother.

By anonymous at 18,Sep,13 05:34

Cheer up! :)

By anonymous at 18,Sep,13 06:00

I AM SO TIRED OF RANDOM SPAM IN THE COMMENTS ARGHHH!! Anyways I hope you feel better by now... you're lucky enough to live until 54 and although the world looks dark and bland at the moment, hopefully there's a light the the end of your tunnel... and it ISN'T death, so don't even go there. :(

By anonymous at 25,Sep,13 03:25

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28

Nothing is impossible for God. He loves you desperately, so much so that he sent his only song to die on the cross for you. His love for you is deeper than the ocean. Come to know him, for he has the power to change you, and change your life.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16

If any of you needs prayer let me know and i'll pray for you, for I believe in the power of prayer.

God bless you!
By anonymous at 25,Sep,13 03:26

typo their, he sent his only son not his only song lol

By anonymous at 26,Sep,13 12:08

Oh yes, it feels soooo good to shove a half eaten pork rib up my butt. Then I get doggy and have stray cats try to eat it out. I do this as I watch parliament squabble over market rates. Turkish Tom and negro Jim help to ease my pain when I blow my load on the front window of my flat.

By anonymous at 12,Oct,13 13:08

this website sucks but hang in there mary, and get another psychiatrist and therapist

By UGG¥Ö©`¥Ä at 13,Oct,13 21:47

At this time I am going away to do my breakfast, later than having my breakfast coming yet again to read further news about

By anonymous at 15,Oct,13 03:51

In the midst of garbage posts comes a gleaming light of truth

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28

For Jesus loved you so much that he layed down his life for you. You were created in Gods image, you weren't made to live for sin and for yourself. Through Christ you can be regenerated, you can as they say, be born again. He freely forgives us of all unrighteousness for he deeply loves us. We were meant to live for so much more, with a real joy, which can only be found in Christ.

If anyone needs prayer just send a comment reply, their is real power in prayer which ive seen acted out. God bless you, even the nay sayers and atheists, I love you guys as much as anyone else.


By anonymous at 23,Oct,13 06:00

Jesus is the way the truth and the light. He died on the cross to wash away all of our unrighteousness, he has redeemed us to the father. All we have to do is believe in him, and we can know him, he can live through us to glorify the father.

By zi xiu tang at 24,Oct,13 14:18

What's up dear, are you enjoying with this comic YouTube video? Hmmm, that nice, I am as well watching this YouTube humorous video at the moment.
zi xiu tang

By anonymous at 03,Nov,13 16:31

the ambiance of the trout swimming in the public toilet reminded me of the American people who listen to the bullshit spouted out of the mouth of Obama. The muslim extremests are by far the most underrated turds on the face of the earth. Allah and god are the same. Aids kills fags dead. People sometimes die of cat scratch fever when a cat scratches them after they have gotten bacteria from killing squirlls infested by the slime from the inside of a black girls panties

By anonymous at 02,Feb,14 17:32

You fat loser.

By c at 24,Jul,14 15:09

it has been a year since you have wrote this post. i hope the depression has got better. depression and no support around you is the worst. i want to say it will only get better but sometimes it only gets worst. you have to put your mind out of everything and everyone around you. think about yourself. be greedy if you have too. dying is just an easy way out. therapy and all that anti depressants in my opinion only makes you feel worst. the family whoever is not helping you or not there for you I'm sorry to say but is not in your best interest especially your youngest kick him out. just because he's your son and blood doesn't mean you can't treat him like the rest of the world. teach him that lesson early. and maybe he will start appreciating his mother more. anyone can change its if they actually want to change. people are sometimes scared of the unknown. and people are never to damaged to change. because i feel the damaged are the best to overcome anything because of the stutation they are placed in. believe in yourself and never wish death upon yourself. because one day when unexpected you may have your wish come true and and it might be too late to turn back.
By anonymous at 20,Oct,15 13:54

I really like the way you actively listened to what this lady had to say about her problems while summarizing her story in more of a positive way for her to look at what she is going through. Giving that sort of light at the end of the tunnel can go a long way in helping someone who feels like there life has been a downward slope. I would say that an area of growth in your helping skills would be the terminology you when dealing with a client, such using more positive statements of change instead of change being something that rarely happens. Even though you were trying to help I don't believe suggesting the removal family from the picture because they might be the only ones who can truly reach her to inspire this change.

By Angel at 18,Jun,15 19:23

If u want to live...
If u want light...
"Islam,shia" is the best thing I can offer.
but be careful.
because there are a lot of lies about it on the internet,books crazy people trying killing themself!
they are lier...
just try to find reality....
just try to find hope....
( read about Imam Husayn, but be careful about liers!)

New Comment