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I pray I won't wake up

Posted by mary at February 14, 2013
Tags: Feb2013

I am 54, obese woman who goes to bed at night hoping I won't wake up. I think about killing myself all the time but have a family and wouldn't want them to suffer. I have been depressed for as long as I can remember. I have been in therapy for the majority of my life and have tried most anti depressants with no success. My youngest son has stolen most of my deceasts mothers cherished jewelry and it has broken my already broken heart. When I was younger I felt there was hope that things would change and I would overcome my depression. I now know that some people are too damaged to change. I have spent my whole life feeling bad and the idea of having to spend the rest of my life like this is unbearable and yet that is my fate... Unless I die in my sleep!


Votes:


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Comments:
By c at 24,Jul,14 15:09

it has been a year since you have wrote this post. i hope the depression has got better. depression and no support around you is the worst. i want to say it will only get better but sometimes it only gets worst. you have to put your mind out of everything and everyone around you. think about yourself. be greedy if you have too. dying is just an easy way out. therapy and all that anti depressants in my opinion only makes you feel worst. the family whoever is not helping you or not there for you I'm sorry to say but is not in your best interest especially your youngest kick him out. just because he's your son and blood doesn't mean you can't treat him like the rest of the world. teach him that lesson early. and maybe he will start appreciating his mother more. anyone can change its if they actually want to change. people are sometimes scared of the unknown. and people are never to damaged to change. because i feel the damaged are the best to overcome anything because of the stutation they are placed in. believe in yourself and never wish death upon yourself. because one day when unexpected you may have your wish come true and and it might be too late to turn back.
C
By anonymous at 20,Oct,15 13:54

I really like the way you actively listened to what this lady had to say about her problems while summarizing her story in more of a positive way for her to look at what she is going through. Giving that sort of light at the end of the tunnel can go a long way in helping someone who feels like there life has been a downward slope. I would say that an area of growth in your helping skills would be the terminology you when dealing with a client, such using more positive statements of change instead of change being something that rarely happens. Even though you were trying to help I don't believe suggesting the removal family from the picture because they might be the only ones who can truly reach her to inspire this change.


By Angel at 18,Jun,15 19:23

If u want to live...
If u want light...
"Islam,shia" is the best thing I can offer.
but be careful.
because there are a lot of lies about it on the internet,books ...like crazy people trying killing themself!
they are lier...
just try to find reality....
just try to find hope....
( read about Imam Husayn, but be careful about liers!)


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