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please help

Posted by look at me now (8) at August 10, 2010
Tags: 2010 August  Juvenile problems

Hey. I'm 16 and female, my story doesn't seem important enough to be on this page bit I also think everyone should be aloud to tell there story. Growing up I was very close to my pops, unfortunately he died. I personally blame myself, the night before his death he asked me to stay, I refused thinking of myself and staying with a friend. After his death I moved in with my grandmother to take care of her. I soon began to resent my family(especially my mom) because they had openly submitted me to the pain of looking after an emotionally and physically unstable woman. I also took my anger out on her, no violence just verbal abuse. I'm good in school and have many friends of both genders but I can never be true to them not even the girl I've been best friend with for 13 years. Anyway I got my first boyfriend at 14 and it was the first I thought I felt any love and jumped into bed with him after 7 months. Ofcourse he fucked off, my mum found out and it pushed me further away from her and as all this has been going on I have be self harming which my mum also found out about. I'm obease and because of my weight ugly. I was out with a large group of friends recently and a man approched us and he called all the other gorls beautiful and lovely then looked at me and said "eh? Well ?" It hurt a lot. Since my pops death I've been in a downwards spiral, I feel as of the world is laughing at me. I'm alone and nobody cares, nobody knows nd nobosy apart from the readers can ever know how much pain I am in. If I wasn't so scared I would have committed Suicide


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Comments:
By anonymous at 24,Aug,10 10:58

Hi!!

There is a lot common between us. My father committed suicide and he ofcourse needed my support. Though he never openly asked me "I need you" yet I repent it till date. I could not, cuz I was busy to realise my dream, to get in2 a very prestigious institute and study computers.

I am 19 now and 1.5 yrs have passed. I managed to get the admission letter in my hand, despite such a blow to me, a month before the entrance exam nd stuff yet I had to give it up to take care of my family.

Even I am really alone in life like you. Perhaps, cuz m not a charmer. Yet, I pass my time somehow, online.
If u wanna chat

my yahoo : justfraspclfrnd@ymail.com


By anonymous at 25,Aug,10 20:38

Look at what we have here: the original post, and a reply- both are young people haunted by guilt over something they had no control over.
Put aside your feelings of guilt.
Move on.
Do not let one isolated incident rule the rest of your life.


By anonymous at 27,Aug,10 18:08

Wow. Life does suck sometimes. No one is perfect. Don't be too hard on yourself. Do your best with what you have and things will get better in time. You are a child of God and He loves you very much. Don't forget that. Pray to God with sincerity and belief that He will answer your prayers. HE WILL. Pray to him for peace and comfort and guidance for your life. He will give it to you. Hang in there!


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