Hey. I'm 16 and female, my story doesn't seem important enough to be on this page bit I also think everyone should be aloud to tell there story. Growing up I was very close to my pops, unfortunately he died. I personally blame myself, the night before his death he asked me to stay, I refused thinking of myself and staying with a friend. After his death I moved in with my grandmother to take care of her. I soon began to resent my family(especially my mom) because they had openly submitted me to the pain of looking after an emotionally and physically unstable woman. I also took my anger out on her, no violence just verbal abuse. I'm good in school and have many friends of both genders but I can never be true to them not even the girl I've been best friend with for 13 years. Anyway I got my first boyfriend at 14 and it was the first I thought I felt any love and jumped into bed with him after 7 months. Ofcourse he fucked off, my mum found out and it pushed me further away from her and as all this has been going on I have be self harming which my mum also found out about. I'm obease and because of my weight ugly. I was out with a large group of friends recently and a man approched us and he called all the other gorls beautiful and lovely then looked at me and said "eh? Well ?" It hurt a lot. Since my pops death I've been in a downwards spiral, I feel as of the world is laughing at me. I'm alone and nobody cares, nobody knows nd nobosy apart from the readers can ever know how much pain I am in. If I wasn't so scared I would have committed Suicide | |
There is a lot common between us. My father committed suicide and he ofcourse needed my support. Though he never openly asked me "I need you" yet I repent it till date. I could not, cuz I was busy to realise my dream, to get in2 a very prestigious institute and study computers.
I am 19 now and 1.5 yrs have passed. I managed to get the admission letter in my hand, despite such a blow to me, a month before the entrance exam nd stuff yet I had to give it up to take care of my family.
Even I am really alone in life like you. Perhaps, cuz m not a charmer. Yet, I pass my time somehow, online.
If u wanna chat
my yahoo : justfraspclfrnd@ymail.com
Put aside your feelings of guilt.
Move on.
Do not let one isolated incident rule the rest of your life.
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