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I don't know what to do anymore

Posted by jenn at August 14, 2010
Tags: 2010 August  Family  Juvenile problems  Society

I feel so lost. I'm 17, never had a boyfriend, never been loved, and my social life sucks. People call me a dyke and "scary". My "friends" treat me like crap. When I was younger my parents beat me and verbally abused me. They would threaten to kill me, beat me, and bash my head in. They say I'm annoying and they wish they never had me. I was depressed for three years and was extremely suicidal. I began hurting and cutting myself at 13. I'm never invited to the parties therefore I'm a waste and ridiculed.I just wish I could find someone to love me. Thats all I ask


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Comments:
By anonymous at 26,Aug,10 22:18

Ha Ha Haaa! YOU are the inverse of ME! I am a dude who was abused by chicks until I left home at 20yo!
Advice: Love is easy!
You will never have friends until you accept yourself as somebody who is deserving to be loved. Think about it. When you see people on the street, look into their eyes! The look they give you is a reflection of the look you give to them!
Love yourself (find a way) and you will find yourself attractive to others!
I was cutting myself at 13 also!
Love is an illusion. Find somebody that you enjoy to be with, love follows.
I get called a "fag",until I show my membership cards for Thee Dollhouse, Al's Diamond Cabaret, Pacer's and my Playboy Club Key! (Go figure, I am am avid outdoorsman and mountain climber!)
Go show your feminine side!


By anonymous at 27,Aug,10 16:37

You are a daughter of God and He loves you more than you can understand. He created all of us and gave us our agency. We are free to choose. We can be mean like our parents (who should love us) or turn things around by loving others. What goes around comes around. God knows who you are and where you are. Pray to Him. He will answer you if you pray with true desire and sincerity, believing He will answer you.
By anonymous at 27,Aug,10 21:05

Spouting your fucking nonsense isn't going to help anyone with depression. She needs real help provided by something other then a bearded sky magician so please shut the fuck up.


By anonymous at 27,Aug,10 20:02

The_Luminary_of_a_Dream@Hotmail.co.uk


By anonymous at 28,Aug,10 14:47

The magic sky man bullshit is just another crutch, albeit a healthier crutch than say smack or crack, a crutch nonetheless. Best off casting all that bullshit aside, figure out who you really are & what it takes to make you feel safe/content/happy & then telling all the naysayers to fuck right off. Only YOU can make your way in this world sweetie, but you have to realize that this life doesn't owe any of us anything. Accept yourself, faults & all, and love yourself, warts & all. Peace & Love unto you!!


By anonymous at 29,Aug,10 08:48

why the heck dyu care wat they say, 17's tough like spinach, but you have to go on anyway, i dont think you're the only person whose life sucks, and self pity isnt going to help either,k?
By anonymous at 30,Aug,10 17:23

lol @ spinach


By anonymous at 30,Aug,10 21:25

everything will be fine!


By anonymous at 31,Aug,10 17:50

Jesus loves you no matter what. He's just waiting for you to call out to Him. He's there with you right now. Ask him to come into your heart. I used to get depressed and cut myself too but now i don't. Jesus brings love, Joy and Peace. : )
By anonymous at 26,Sep,10 17:56

Yea, if he loves us so f*cking much why wont he make money fall out of the sky and gold grow on trees?
By anonymous at 12,Oct,10 00:21 Fold Up

Hey all, looky here it's Gods plan. Your all in fucking pain because it's all in his hands. Yea fucking right. Take the stick out of your ass stand up on your own two feet and put one foot in front of the other. If you think sitting on your fat ass telling people that someone is waiting to call out their name is normal then you really need a fucking reality shrink. The poor mother fucker is hanging on by a fucking string and you tell him someone is wait to call his name? Why not keep your mouth shut and wait till the bastard falls down dead so that you can lean over and with your fucking jesus smile, whisper don't worry it's Gods plan. Now, shut the fuck up and go pray for someone that can afford being put in a shit hole by God. Go execute your fucking Jesus loves you with someone who can pray the same in return. As for jenn I know it's hard, cold, dark, empty, and it hurts. Cry yourself to sleep and when you wake up every day look at your hands, touch your hands, touch your face with your hands, touch your arms with your hands, feel what hurts within in you, wrap yourself with your arms and hands and cry again. Cry and embrace yourself until it hurts no more. When it quits hurting you will begin loving yourself. The best hurt you can feel is crying. The best medicine, counseling, or drug is your own love for you. Fuck everyone else.


By anonymous at 02,Sep,10 13:23

Jesus is for mental cripples.


By anonymous at 03,Sep,10 23:07

Yes life sux


By anonymous at 11,Oct,10 00:01

listen you, i know all about cutting. it's a temporary release, but the feelings come back soon. to tell you about me, i have so many scars on my arms and it is embarassing. than i found other areas. now these days i have scars all over my body. yeah, the therapists say all these techniques about how to avoid, but they don't work. don't care about high school. soon you'll be out of there and in the real world. it's much different. don't sell yourself cheap and sleep around for popularity either. cutting and bulimia are the same. it's all about the release. endorphins are released in the brain when you do it, so yes it is addictive. i'm sick. i won't tell you my cutting practices because people on here will throw up. i still do it. in fact now i want to do it. usually opiate abuse follows such a psyche. how can you deal with it? face your anger. own your anger. don't turn it inward onto your self. find a rubbermaid garbage can and beat it up until you feel released. you could contract hepatitis from dirty blades. it sure is a release, but the feelings come back, don't they? not a solution. you need to love yourself first. you will find yourself in time. just hold on and things will come around. why do you want to go to these parties? these people are probably all sleeping with each other and will be used up. stay pure. hold on to that. there are deeper reasons as to why you cut. unfortunately due to your upbringing, you will seek out abusers until you break this dysfunctional cycle. you can do it on your own. just be careful of the company you keep. don't go down the road of drugs. it's not worth it to have to self destruct because of what your parents did. be a proud survivor and break the cycle. believe me, in time, a man will love you for being pure. don't sleep around and conform. that is what makes you different. people fear difference. so that is how they deal with it. one day you will be laughing at them as long as you don't surrender to them. good luck.
By anonymous at 11,Oct,10 00:10

in addition, make yourself stand out. i don't mean by radically dying your hair. build your self and don't conform. stay true. stand out from the rest. kids are mean. go shop at the thrift store and find some funky fashion attire and stand out from the rest. walk with your head up, not down. they will prey on weakness. you are not weak. but that's how they pick them out. serious, you can find awesome clothes at the thrift store. that's what you can hold on to.. create your own genre. stand out. speak your mind and don't listen to others. they will question you and try to defy you, but when you don't backk down to them, you will earn you worth.


By anonymous at 17,Oct,10 16:37

you know what, fuck that. fuck the past. i love you any day babes forget that shit. its a world of bollocks, make sure you get somewhere in your life, be better than them.


By anonymous at 13,Nov,10 11:27

life may be hard but its how we respond to what happens to us that matters.look around everyone has something bugging them,they pretend everything is ok but they are hurting inside.Its the voice inside that tells me everything is going to be ok,thats why i dont give up.i keep holding on knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel.its tough when u are a teenager,but as you grow older you will look back and be amazed how you made.please never ever give up


By anonymous at 02,Dec,10 01:15

You are beautiful the way you are. To share your pain with other shows that you let people into your heart. You are a giving and loving person. I can see the beauty in you.


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