I am ugly, fat, and look like a monster. I have a spouse who havent taken me on a date ever, dont set the mood, not romantic. I have two teenage sons and they feel because i am fat lonely sad and always in the house that i need to make friends to get out. Its been so many years since i felt love in my life and heart. I cant even throw my fat ass at no one because they dont want my smelly ass. I set up late night watching tv wishing someone loved me like they loved the character in the movie. I tried going to the club by myself for motivation but nobody talked to me. I just stood there by myself and really didnt have enough money to get a shot. My tits hang to my stomach and the fat from my stomach covers my private and my calfs are fat full of water retention that i cant wear certain shoes. I trie to look pretty sometimes but nothing looks good on me. I dont have anyone to talk to in my family and i do not have a social life. I lost my job and im supporting everyone with my unemployment checks. I can't barely pay the bills which i am behing in the phone, cable, and PGE. I am trying to move but i have no money to relocate to a cheaper city in CALIFORNIA. I feel that no one loves me and they all look at me with discust. It seem like I cant make my boys happy they seem like there never satisfied. I never had help I always had to do things on my own. I wonder what it feels like to be loved, cerest, lust after. I trying to loose wait but no one here gives me any motivation or support, when there in need to turn to me and I always have to be the strong person. Sometimes I WANT to take the easy way out. My mother use to beat me, humiliate me in front of guest having everyone laughing at me. She treat me like shit, I had to raise myself and I dont understand why I am living this life of misery, this life was mistaken for me. I am a big fat saly chubby face monster. I am a looser and failure with no existing talent. I'M A WASTE to human air. So tired of crying, everyone is sleep and my feet itch from being crusted. | |
Also I think that no matter how ugly/fat someone is they can dress and groom in a way that makes them look attractive. Presentation is really important to how people see you. It doesn't even have to be expensive, just target stuff, but things that will suit your body type. I'm sure that there is something that you will look beautiful in.
I'm not going patronise you by asking if you have considered loosing weight, but you should know that it is pretty much garenteed that you will lose weight if you eat healthy and exercise a lot. But then, I don't know that much about your situation. Just try not to give up on weight loss, even if it feels impossible and you have tried it a million times.
Also, you sound like you in a pretty hopeless position. Maybe you should try seeing a doctor/therapist about your situation. It might give you some perspective.
Never forget that people love you.
At least you have a spouse, and a family. I lost my husband, lost my job, and got cancer all within three months. If that doesn't make someone depressed, I don't know what will. Get up, walk, walk, walk, eat only good foods, and care about yourself. NO ONE else will do it for you. No one gives me motivation. There IS no one to do it. I have to do it for myself. I have to care enough about what I accomplish. DO NOT depend on anyone else. Do it because YOU love yourself.
You gives a damn if anyone else does. That is where you have to be strong.
You need to educate yourself about diet, nutrition, and food. It is very important to make this change.
Also, is you're not getting any exercise, try to start walking every day, just do what YOU can, and don't give up. Things can change for you, I promise.
Your body is a temple and to reflect the outside u need to do some work on the inside first. Love yourself and work out ur issues cuz at the end of the day they r ur issues ur dealing with and nobody is gonna do it for u.
email me at defallt@gmail.com if you need someone to talk to
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