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I have no hope

Posted by S. at September 25, 2010
Tags: Attitude  2010 September  Sexuality

Im 19 year old guy and im completely lost and hopeless, i dont see any future or hope in my life. Im strugling with my sexuality and i dont know what to do. I think about the future and i cry, i cant have any guy friends because they cant understands me because i like guys, i have to live in a lie all the time, i have never had a gf or a bf.
My soul is tearing apart slowly. i went to a foreign country last year to study and i was the only time i was happy, but even there i have issues with because i kept falling inlove with my guy friends and they knew it.

Now i came back to my country and everything got worse, the few friends i had are miles away from me and because my family spend alot of money in that trip now i cant go to college.

I met a few nice people later but they are gone now; they always leave because im fucking piece of shit.

I have no-one and nobody cares for me i WANT TO DIE so much i cant even type this right now because i feel like every fiber of my being its telling me to stop it. Ended already.

I wish i die; i tried so many things but nothing works, maybe i should just jump or put a bullet in my head. I dont Care anything now, and i know i wont go to hell because THIS IS HELL i want to be free, i want my soul to be free. Please...


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New Comment

By anonymous at 01,Oct,10 19:02

I have a friend who is gay. He is really cool and good looking. And successful. You know his secret? he has a good attitude, he smiles and jokes alot, he socializes, people like him even though he is gay. Who ares what people say. In the Philippines there's alot of gay people there and it's normal. Alot of those gay guys in there are even celebrities. people should not judge you for being gay. you'll find someone, just keep looking. Wouldn't you rather spend the rest of your life with that special someone and be happy, rather than spend the rest of your life with someone you don't like and be sad? Smile, have hope. have'll find solutions.

By anonymous at 01,Oct,10 23:27

Don't give up on life. Though there's going to be rough times there will also be alot of great times. I am pansexual and I have many LGBT friends. And we all wish you the best of luck and to not give up. Forget all the bad things and think positive. You'll find someone someday and you won't regret living. Trust me. You only got one life live it to the fullest.

By anonymous at 02,Oct,10 18:11

Oh fucking PLEASE! Just when I thought that I heard it all..... GROW UP!!! Or, kill yourself!
By S. at 04,Oct,10 21:51

Do you think i want to be unhappy?, do you think i want to feel atracted to my friends? do you even know what it feels like to spend a huge amount of time with someone, knowing that he trust you with everything but at the same time knowing that when you look at him a part of you looks at him as more as a friend. i WISH I COULD JUST "grow up" but its just not that simple
By anonymous at 15,Oct,10 01:00 Fold Up

stfu some people have bad problems in life and this is a place to share them. if you cant read other peoples problems and show care and support and try and help them then maybe you shouldn't be on this site. and telling people to kill themselves??? SOME PEOPLE JUST CANT HELP THAT THEIR LIVES SUCK!

By anonymous at 13,Oct,10 19:22

Look man. I'm gay. And I grew up in a small town and had the same shitty life you have now. Your an adult now. Move to a big city. Find other gay guys and make some friends. We can only be strong when we have like-minded people to lean on when we need them. Life gets so much better and the best part is it is 100% up to you what you want to do with it!
Keep your head up.
By anonymous at 19,Mar,11 12:47

TOTALLY TRUE- I grew up gay in a samll town too. Wanted to kill myself, tried with pills, no one understands, can't tell a soul... etc. etc. Move to a major city- no less than 5 million people. New York (up-up-yeababy!!), Chicago, L.A.(not my first choice), San Francisco. You want to find people like yourself? Gotta search within a big pool and cast a huge net. The best thing I ever did was leave the cornfields of Illinois and move to a MAJOR metro city. You'll find friends, things to do, goals to set and achieve, and purpose. You gotta have purpose. Good luck dude- and remember- nothing happens overnight.

By anonymous at 15,Oct,10 01:01

just be happy about who you are! think positive and keep your head up! :D im sure that you will meet a great person who cares for you and understands you someday :)

By anonymous at 30,Nov,10 13:05

repeat this phrase " Jesus Christ is the son of God", turn from your homosexuality, repent your sins, trust in Jesus Christ, focus on the kingdom of God. Being gay is detestable to the lord.
By anonymous at 12,Dec,10 00:49

By anonymous at 12,Dec,10 00:51 Fold Up

I think its kind of cute in an autistic way, that some people STILL believe in God, but damn! Sometimes it can be soooooo annoying and scary!! It all so...cult-like. Beware of the religious freaks!!

am out-
By anonymous at 05,Dec,11 06:11 Fold Up

So what you're saying is you are god? Nice to meet ya God !!! Really it's a pleasure.I mean it's nice to know that you care more about a persons sexual preference then mybe i don't know.... the war in the middle east. Not to mention poverty, sexual abuse, nuclear warfare, slave trade ect ect
What gives you the right to judge wether people are worthy, are you god ? I don't fucken think so. And if there is a god up there where ever the fuck he/she or it is that judges peoples morality on their sexual preference. Then I don't believe in him and the crock of shit his spinning.

By anonymous at 05,Dec,10 23:40

I love Gay ppl. Do you want to be my friend?

By anonymous at 12,Dec,10 00:48

When you wake up every morning, look in the mirror and say to yourself "I am the baddest, illest, hottest gay motherfucker on this planet and am the fucking shit, so fuck anyone who gets in my goddam way. I will tear this motha' up if anyone fucks with me!"

Do that shit everyday until you start seeing that what you are actually saying is true. Then, when you are financially more stable, move the fuck out of your town, make yourself some cool friends, they don't ALL HAVE to be gay by the way either, get a job and then whip your fucking hair!!!! YOU GOT THIS!! LOVE YOU, MAN! AM SENDING YOU ALL OF MY FUCKING ENERGY!! AND IT'S A TON, SO IF YOU FEEL EXTRA FRISKY AFTER READING THIS, THEN YOU KNOW WHY!!

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