LIFE SUCKS

IT SUCKS TO BE ME!

I go back when I was a litle kid , my Father used to be so mean and cruel to me, he used to beat me up everyday left me for dead, I was never able for build self confidence 'cause he would always put me down and make me feel like shit,
he almost never sayd that he love me. I always wanted him to be proud of me so I was always tryng hard to make him happy but no matter what I did it was never enought. spending my life like this, living in fear with zero self steem
and a whole bunch of issues, at age 17 I left my country and went to Spain looking for a better life on my own. Once in Spain I found myself with no money no job no friends, only a litle basement to live in.
I started making some money by helping people cut their grass and doing some home work. it has been 10 years since I came here, my dad got killed back home
in 2008 1 day before he got killed I had a big argument with him over the phone, last word I heard from him was calling me piece of shit. this is my biggest regret. I can't hold down a job I always end up getting fired, or living my job, it doesn't matter how hard I try something or someone comes on my way and I end up getting fired. I'm sick and tired of this, I really want to end this end scape from this nightmare like life. I haven't done it 'cause I have a 5 years old son, who still doesn't know he's got a looser and a failurre as a father.