Since the day I exist my life ruins my dream, sometimes I'm confused if there's really a God or just an imaginary. I have this defect of being have a cleft lip and got no palate, that's why I can't speak very clearly. During attending my primary and secondary at school, most of my classmate teasing me very offensive and can't even eat their words, even one of my teacher tease me "keep on following the way I talked", which seems not right for his side as a teacher. No girlfriends til' I reach high-school cos most of those girls that I like just ignore me and sometimes punch some lines "you're ugly", which is very painful in my part. Until I finish college and know this girl from somewhere else, i courted her for a month, and we become lover for a year. I really love that girl cos she's the only person who accepted me as who I am. Until one day, got surprise that she wants to see me in person, and she just approach me and hit the punch line "we're breaking up", I was shock and keep on asking her why? and she just answered "I don't like you anymore", and all I did in my room is cry and still keeping the pain inside. Now at the age of 28 still looking for a job, still no one accept, there are some point of understanding in my side that maybe there are facial discrimination in most of company that I applied, which is very sucks. Now I'm still living in my grand parents, very hopeless, no job, no money, no girlfriend, not even have true friends... can't sleep at night, keep on telling God that life is not fair! cos I'm just like living in very dark room with no doors to success.